Im a sister who lives in toronto and i wear the naqab, also the full islamic clothing.I cant find work to support myself. My father send me very little money which is enough for my transporation; he sends the money every 2-3 months ($250).I would like to apply for welfare since i cant support myself and my mother doesnt want to help me. However, she told me not apply for it. I know im suppose to obey in everything except if they request me to do something that is haram.My question is can i disobey my mother,since i have no money of own and im in dire need of it. My father who is suppose to be support ing me and sisters,my family is not. Am i disobedient to my mother;therefore to Allah (Swt)?Also, will i be getting bad deeds? I dont know what to do. I tried to talking with my father, my mother but nothing works.Please advise. Jaza'allah khain
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
We ask Allaah The Almighty, The Most Generous to reward you for keeping in constant obedience to your Lord and being dutiful to your mother. We ask Him to increase your guidance and piety. It is obligatory on the father to financially support his daughter who has no money and no husband to provide for her. This obligatory financial support covers food, drink and housing. Expenses of education are not a must on him unless education is related to learning what is an individual obligation, such as rulings of purification, prayers, and any act which is an individual obligation. If the father neglected spending on these channels, the child is allowed to take it without his knowledge. As regards expenses of additional studies, they are not obligatory on the father, but it would be fine if he donated them.
However, we advise you to try to convince your father to increase your financial support. If he accepted, this would be better for you than obtaining the welfare. If he persisted and you really need this welfare, it will be permissible for you to request it on condition that it does not entail harm on you in your worldly affairs or in your religion.
On the other hand, it would be great if you managed to convince your mother to request the welfare; otherwise, you are allowed to take it even against her will. That is because obedience to parents is obligatory in what benefits them and does not harm their child. Later on, try your best to gain her pleasure.
Allaah Knows best.
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