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Fatwa CenterHer non-practicing Muslim parents encourage her to be disobedient to Allaah
Question
I am from Turkey and my parents are non-practicing Muslims, they are against the Hijaab, I have spoken to them but they still disagree and also have taken my Hijaab, what should I do?
Also, I have prayed Salatul-Istikhaara for Nikaah, I feel that I am married but my mother said I should only worry about marriage, that it can wait. Should I wait?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Allaah ordained for women to wear Hijab and made it an obligation on them. Allaah says (which means): {O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused.}[Quran 33:59]. When a woman wears Hijab, she protects herself from the harm of dissolute people.
There is no doubt that the parents have a great status and Allaah ordered us to be kind and dutiful to them, provided that this is in what is permissible. The Prophet 
said: "Obedience is in what is permissible." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] What you have mentioned in the question that your parents are ordering you to take off the Hijab, if this is confirmed, is not within what is permissible, rather, it is a disobedience to Allaah so it is not permissible for you to obey them. So we advise you to be patient with them and advise them in a good and soft manner. You may seek the help of pious and righteous people whom they may listen to. Besides, you have to supplicate to Allaah as much as possible to enable you to convince them. So if they are convinced, all perfect praise be to Allaah, otherwise you do not have to obey them [in this regard] as we have already explained.
As regards marriage, it is a matter that religion encourages, and marrying could help you in your religion especially in wearing Hijab if Allaah blesses you with a righteous husband. You should try to convince your mother to give you permission to marry; however, if she insists on refusing, you have to obey her. But if there is any harm on you if you delay marriage then you do not have to obey her in this matter. If a qualified and suitable person asks your hand for marriage and your father agrees, then there is no harm in concluding the marriage even if your mother still objects to it. After marrying, you have to try to please her.
Finally, it should be noted that it is permissible for a woman to propose herself for marriage to those who are seeking to marry. However, this should be in circumstances that are free of suspicion and doubt. Indeed Al-Bukhari and Muslim
reported a story of a woman who proposed herself to marry the Prophet and he did not object to her doing so.
Allaah knows best.
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