I have contacted you before and I do appreciate your advice, however I also visit other sites and the advice can be conflicting. when I visited last I mentioned that I am married, but have been unfaithful (Zina) and husband knows (I informed him because I thought I was obligated to do so, only to find out later that I was not obligated to tell him and in fact should not have told him - according to scholars). He, however wants to stay together yet when upset says a lot of things in front of our daughter and threatens to tell everyone what I have done. I have done some research (i.e. what the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, said) about Zina and those who commit it, however when I seek advice from the knowledgeable scholars sometimes it differs. Which brings me to several questions that I have: 1) since I told my husband, am I now obligated to confess (I do know that would mean death) and if so to whom? My dad is still living, but if I confess to him, and he doesn't carry out Allaah's will, then what? 2) Is it Islamic to leave him considering what has happened or do I need to go public in order to do that (which means death)? If so what will happen to our daughter? (by the way it is his daughter without a doubt) will she need to know about this now or in the future if I'm put to death?
by no means do I want to be put to death, yet each day I stay in our relationship I feel as if Allaah is not pleased (i.e. we don't pray together he is a bit more negligent than I now whereas before we both were negligent) I pray and even make additional prayers along with Du'a and Istikhaara prayer in hopes that Allaah will forgive me and lighten my punishment. Which brings me to my last question: does Allaah not answer the prayer of the married Zina? I have read Hadeeth saying so. I would appreciate any knowledge you have to share. Also I have included a Hadeeth which I would like you to explain to me. See the following Hadeeth: Sahl bin Sa'd Al-Sa'idi, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported: Uwaimir Al-'Ajlani came to 'Asim bin 'Adi Al-Ansari and said to him: 'Asim tell me about a person who finds a man with his wife; should he kill him, and be killed in retaliation; or how should he act? 'Asim, ask for me (about a religious verdict) from Allaah's Messenger (may peace be upon him). So 'Asim asked Allaah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and he did not like this question and he disapproved of it so much that 'Asim felt aggrieved at what he had heard from Allaah's Messenger (may peace be upon him). When 'Asim came back to his family, 'Uwaimir came to him and said: 'Asim, what did Allaah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) say to you? 'Asim said to 'Uwaimir: You did not bring something good. Allaah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) did not like this religious verdict that I sought from him. 'Uwaimir said: By Allaah, I will not rest until I have asked him about it. 'Uwaimir proceeded until he came to Allaah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as he was sitting amidst people, and said: Messenger of Allaah, tell me about a person who found a man with his wife. Should he kill him, and then you would kill him, or how should he act? Thereupon Allaah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: (Verses) have been revealed concerning you and your wife; so go and bring her. Sahl said that they both invoked curses (and further said): I was along with people in the company of Allaah's Messenger (may peace be upon him). And when they had finished, 'Uwaimir said: Allaah's Messenger, I will have told a lie against her if I kept her (now). So he divorced her with three pronouncements before Allaah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) had commanded him. Hadeeth number in Saheeh Muslim [Arabic only]: 2741.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

It is forbidden for every Muslim to reveal his sin, rather he has to conceal it. Therefore, you are not allowed to confess to your father or to your daughter or anyone else. In addition, no one is authorized to implement the penal laws except a Muslim ruler or his deputy. The rulings are mentioned in our previous Fataawa: 81814 and 86970.

Allaah accepts the repentance of a person regardless of how many his sins were.

However, if your relations with your husband are strained and you cannot live in harmony and there is no hope to live a happy life, then it is permissible for you to ask for a divorce from him and Allaah will facilitate your matters.

Here is the explanation of the narration you enquired about.

The narration by 'Uwaymir Al-'Ajlaani is reported by Imaam Al-Bukhari and Muslim. The following only summarizes its meaning:

'Uwaymir Al-'Ajlaani came to 'Aasim Ibn 'Adiyy and asked him: 'If a husband finds another man with his wife and is sure that he had committed adultery with her; if he kills him would he be killed? Or should he remain patient and keep silent about the matter? If he does reain silent then he has indeed kept quiet about a major issue. Would you ask the Prophet about the matter?' 'Aasim did so. However, the Prophet did not like the question, as this is a matter about transgressing other people's honour. So 'Aasim returned to 'Uwaymir and informed him that the Prophet did not like the question. Thereupon, 'Uwaymir insisted to ask the Prophet himself, and then the verses regarding the spouses cursing each other when the husband accuses the wife of committing adultery. Indeed this matter happened to 'Uwaymir and the Prophet ordered him to bring his wife and when she denied having committed adultry, he commanded them and they cursed each other, and then he divorced her. Thereafter, the Sunnah was that whoever curses his wife must separate from her permanently based on this cursing. The curse is done as follows: Allaah says (which means): {And those who accuse their wives [of adultery] and have no witnesses except themselves — then the witness of one of them [shall be] four testimonies [swearing] by Allaah that indeed, he is of the truthful. And the fifth [oath will be] that the curse of Allaah be upon him if he should be among the liars. But it shall prevent the punishment from her if she gives four testimonies [swearing] by Allaah that indeed, he is of the liars. And the fifth [oath will be] that the wrath of Allaah be upon her if he was of the truthful.} [Quran 24:6-9]. The Sunnah , however, is that the ruler should remind them of Allaah and admonish them before they proceed to curse each other.

Allaah knows best.