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Fatwa CenterNeeds advice in raising two years old daughter
Question
My daughter is almost 2 years of age. Please advise me on how to discipline her when she is being aggressive and hitting me, etc. I do shout at her but always regret it afterwards. My husband always lets her have her own way which makes it hard for me. I am a second wife and on the days he is not here, Mash Allah, she is ok, but when he is here then she gives me a hard time. I have tried to tell him not to give in to her demands. Please advise me on how to deal with her non-Islamic way.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
There is no doubt that the education of the children is a difficult matter which needs wisdom and experience.
One should be moderate in dealing with them, so that they will be brought up with a particular objective; there should be no excessiveness or remissness.
This fact could be ignored by some parents, so they treat their children with some excessiveness or remissness, each of which has its bad effects.
Therefore, dear sister, you should sit with your husband and set a method as to how to educate your daughter. The guidance of the Prophet and the biography of his Companions 
in dealing with their children should be your guide in setting up this methodology.
With regard to the behavior of your daughter and her aggressiveness towards you when her father is at home, then you are the best person to identify the reason and put the appropriate remedy for it. It could be that she feels secure in the presence of her father after a state of compulsion and fear that she experienced in his absence.
Usually the behavior of the child reflects their feelings. Try to be affectionate to her and play with her when her father is away, without being firm with her.
One of the Muslim writers on education said: "A child cannot learn in a state of fear, and cannot be nurtured when he/she is unhappy. It is when he/she feels secure, and interacts with a happy environment full of guidance, and when treated in a soft manner that does not spoil the mood, that he/she is fully prepared with an open heart, a present mind, and a hearing ear."
Finally, you can contact the advisory section of Islamweb for more benefits.
Allaah Knows best.
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