My brother got married few months back. His only demand was a Hafiz a Quran girl. We got him married and he expected his wife to be a religious minded and observing Islamic values. However, this marriage turned out to be a disaster as the girl was just the opposite of what a good wife should be. She was disobeying her husband, fighting with him, humiliating him in front of others and trying to train him as a good servant rather than respecting him and serving him. My brother got confused he did not know what to do. In the end when things got really out of hand, then he sent her one divorce with the remarks that he is hoping that she would change herself and mend her way. She was too stubborn and ill mannered. Instead of realizing her mistakes, she immediately demanded the remaining two divorces. Her father used to police station and pressurized my brother to give her the remaining two divorces. For over a month this ordeal went on and them she and her father left for Middle East where they had come from. My brother clearly mentioned that he did not want to give her the remaining two divorces; he had given her the divorce to make her realize that she had to change herself.
She left the house and the country without his permission. To her husband means nothing. Anyway, after waiting for four months, my brother sent the message that he would give the remaining two divorces as she had demanded. She and her father came back from the Middle East. The divorce was posted. Now they are asking for the Mehar. Under the circumstances, when the girl and her father have constantly been asking for the remaining two divorces, is my brother supposed to pay her the mehar amount. Kindly advice.

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

It was more appropriate for your brother not to hasten with divorce until he had made efforts to reconcile with his wife. This could have been done by referring to the people of knowledge and justice from both parties to look into her matter, they might succeed to convince her to return to the obedience of her husband and have kind social relationship with him.

The father of the girl was also wrong as he asked for the divorce, because the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) prohibited that, as it was reported in the Saheeh. He should have been the first person to reconcile and reunite the two spouses. However, if all the above steps did not work, then in this case the divorce would be better.

Ibn Qudamah said: ‘It might be that the situation between the two spouses is bad, and it would be a pure evil and harm for the marriage to continue, by obliging the husband to provide sustenance and shelter, and keeping the wife indoors while there is a bad social relationship between them, and a state of a continuous quarrel without any benefit. All this implied the legitimacy of breaking the marriage so that the harm and evil that resulted from it would stop.’ [End of citation]

The divorce is only permissible once (uttering the word of divorce only once).

Nevertheless, the bad behaviour of the wife does not make her lose the right of her dowry (Mahr), because it is one of the pillars of marriage, without any difference of opinion on this matter.

Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart,….}[4:4].

The wife has the right for the whole Mahr if the marriage is consummated, and if a part of it is appointed to a given time, then it remains as a debt on the husband to give it at its due time.

However, if the divorce took place before the marriage is consummated, then she has the right to get half of the Mahr mentioned and agreed upon between them, unless she or her guardian agree to forego it, Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {And if you divorce them before you have touched (had a sexual relation with) them, and you have appointed unto them the Mahr (bridal money given by the husbands to his wife at the time of marriage), then pay half of that (Mahr), unless they (the women) agree to forego it, or he (the husband), in whose hands is the marriage tie, agrees to forego and give her full appointed Mahr. ….}[2:237].

But if the Mahr is not defined and mentioned, then she has the right for a suitable gift from the husband according to his means.

It is reported that Ibn Abbas said: “The top of the suitable gift is to provide a servant (for her), the lesser than that would be to provide her with silver, and lesser degree still would be to provide her with clothing.

However, if the marriage is not consummated (had no sexual intercourse with her) or if he did not stay in seclusion, then there is no provision for her. But if the marriage is consummated, then the husband has to provide for her. If she is disobedient to him, and violates marital duties, prevents her husband from taking pleasure from her, or travels without his consent, then there is no provision for her. The provision is obligatory only when she fulfils the right of her husband and him taking pleasure of her, and if she is disobedient, then there is no provision for her.

In conclusion, this woman had no right to ask her husband to provide for her during the time she was disobedient to him.

The dowry (Mahr) has to be completely given to her if the marriage is consummated, or half of it if the marriage is not consummated. If she is disobedient, her husband can keep her until she takes her ransom according to the agreement between them. Knowing that if the waiting period of the woman is finished after the first divorce, then the second or third divorce have no effect since they are no longer married.

Allah knows best.