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Fatwa CenterHer Parents Have Poor Relations With Her Spouse
Question
I am a American Muslim convert and have been married to a Muslim husband for 2 years. I became Muslim before marriage and although my parents were not unhappy about my conversion, they were confused with the changes it brought me. Despite this, I remained close to my family, and even talk to my Mother everyday day until a few months ago.Since my parents met my husband, they have never had a very good relationship with him. I have always felt that they do not trust him. They think my husband changed me a lot and they don't understand why he doesn't open up to them and talk to them and feel as close to them as I am. Recently my father got very angry with my husband because he felt that my husband was rude to my mother (he actually just didn't agree with her on something). The problem is that he started physically and verbally attacking my husband. I was very scared because he did this in front of me and could have severely hurt my husband. I knew my father has a bad temper but this was extreme. He pushed and shoved and tried to nearly choke him. My husband told me I should not contact my family anymore. We are afraid that with contact the relationship will just get worse. I haven't talked to my family for several months and although I am upset with their actions, I miss them. I'm not sure what to do. I miss my family, naturally because they are my family, and because I know that even if our parents mistreat us we must respect them. I am not sure what to do, Islamicly I need to listen to my husband, but I am afraid that by severing ties with my parents, who are getting older in age, that I will punished by Allah. What should I do?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
There is no doubt that there are filial obligations upon the children even if their parents are not Muslims. This, in fact, demonstrates the parents' right over their children. So, we advise the inquiring sister to reach an agreement with her husband concerning her obligation to visit her family, since failing to keep ties with them may violate their rights for which she is accountable in Islam.
If your visit to your family will not produce harm in your religion and there is no legal justification to prevent you, then you have to do your best to convince your husband to allow you to visit your parents and treat them kindly, since this is your duty. If your husband refuses and persists that you have to obey him in such illegal action, then you are not obliged to obey him, since there should be no obedience to someone if such obedience constitutes disobedience to The Creator.
After all, we urge you to be kind and gentle with your parents, to return their offence in kind, that is to say to treat them mildly, and then, to overlook their wrong. This, Allah willing, might constitute a good motive to make them embrace Islam.
Allah knows best.
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