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Fatwa CenterWants to reconcile relatives so he can marry his cousin
Question
As soon as got the answer I went to my uncle and asked him to reconcile with my mother. I also quoted the some Hadith (s). But, he refused and said that my mother and auntie would once again quarrel if we reconcile, therefore, it is better to be separate.Please, give me an answer in detail so that I can convince my uncle. My uncle also told me that he would go for a Hajj next time. I would also like to tell you that my uncle's daughter is 14 years old and I'm 23.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
May Allah reward you for your good efforts to reconcile your uncle and mother. Do not be impatient to achieve the results; instead you should continue visiting your uncle at appropriate times. Show your respect and love for him and do what pleases him. Offering gifts at times may be useful to further your cause. Continue offering him good advice with good manners; probably Allah will guide him to the right path and open his heart to the truth. Know that the hearts are between two fingers out of the fingers of al-Rahman who turns them where He wants. If your uncle does not listen to your advice this time, probably he will listen to it another time. Also, try to convince your mother to visit your uncle or communicate with him. You may tell some lies to achieve this important matter; as some scholars permitted doing so based on the Hadith that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "He who makes peace between the people by inventing good information or saying good things, is not a liar" [Reported by Imams al-Bukhari and Muslim ].
They take the Hadith according to its apparent meaning while other scholars say that it means using illusive words and expressions not clear lies.
Moreover, tell to your uncle in a good way that severing relations with your mother fearing there will be dispute with his wife is not a sound reason. Instead, he should rebuke the one who creates the problems and should set limits for her.
Also he should know that he could maintain good kin relations with your mother in spite of her dispute with your aunt. So, he should not make it a reason to cut off relations and expose himself to the anger of Allah.
Finally, we advise you again to be patient and continue to make efforts to reconcile them. Also you should resort to Allah, make Du'a to reunite them, help solve their problems and grant you goodness regardless of where it is.
Allah knows best.
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