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Fatwa CenterDisciplining wife who cheated on husband
Question
Assalaamu alaykum. How are you? I do not know if this is the correct way to contact you. My name is Riaz and I live in Mozambique. My English is not so good. I have been married for seven years, and we have two kids. My wife was cheating on me; when I caught her, she denied it, but then I started investigating and found so many proofs that she accepted and apoligized and said that it will never happen again. I was thinking about divorcing her, but she is from India, and I do not want my kids to grow up abroad and in conditions that are less comfortable than my place, so I want to give her one more chance. I was thinking about giving her all the financial comfort as a wife, but without giving her intimate affection, for a period of three years, as a form of punishment. Is this acceptable in the Shariah or not? I will be awaiting your advice as soon as possible. Thank you, and regards. Riaz.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
If it is proven that your wife cheated on you, then it is not enough that she apologizes to you; rather, she has to repent to Allah sincerely of this sin. The conditions of the sincere repentance were previously underlined in fatwa 86527.
If she repented to Allah and adhered to righteousness, it is better to retain your marriage; please, refer to fatwa 191839. However, if she does not repent to Allah of her sin, then there is no good in keeping such a wife.
Ibn Qudaamah 
wrote, “There are five categories of divorce ... The fourth is recommended; it is when the wife neglects the rights of Allah over her, such as the prayer and the other acts of worship, and her husband is unable to force her to observe them, or if she is an unchaste woman...” [Al-Mughni]
However, there is no harm in keeping her as your wife for the sake of your children in order to look after them. We advise you to teach her her religion and strive to instill faith and the urge to obey Allah in her heart, especially the religious obligations pertinent to modesty, hijaab, and observing the teachings of Islam when dealing with non-Mahram (marriageable) men. One of the most effective means of educating her in this regard is being a good example for her to follow.
If you choose to retain your marriage bond, it is impermissible for you to abandon her entirely such that you deny her the right to intimacy (sexual intercourse). The Shariah prescribed certain criteria for disciplinary abandonment of one's disobedient wife in bed. The husband should first take the steps that precede abandoning in bed, and when he does so, he abandons her while sleeping in the same bed. He should also not abandon her for such a long time that it harms her. Therefore, some scholars set a maximum period for such abandonment. The Maaliki scholar Al-Kharashi wrote, “The next step is abandoning her (in bed), and the maximum duration for it is one month. It should not reach four months, which is the time limit for Eelaa' (when a man takes an oath to cut off intimate relations with his wife).” [Sharh Mukhtasar Khaleel]
For more benefit, please refer to fatwa 85402.
Allah knows best.
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