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Fatwa CenterUnemployed brother-in-law lives in one's house and commits sins
Question
Assalaamu alaykum. Back in 2015, I invited my 30-year-old brother-in-law to come and stay with his sister as he had no job at that time. I managed to find him a couple of jobs in the area, and he would not last three months, he always quits his job and then takes a job seekers' allowance. At the moment, he has no job and is in my house 24/7. I feel like he has overstayed and does not want to move on with his life. have tried my best to find him jobs in the past, and he quits them on his own accord. How can I tell him to leave without upsetting my wife or her family? My wife keeps on telling me that we need him to get married and to let him save money while he is staying with us. Honestly, I have tried my best to help him out, and he is just not ready to take on responsibilities. Please advise me on how to take care of this situation. I am stressed out about his manners - I seek Allaah's forgiveness - he is very messy, does not wash up, and talks with girls over the phone and the internet all night long up until the morning. How can I get rid of him? I just cannot confront him and tell him to leave; I will look like a bad police man in the house; I told him about the issue of cleaning and not talking to girls all night long, but he just will not listen to me. Thank you so much in advance for your advice.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, if the conduct of your wife's brother is as you mentioned, then he has combined unemployment with committing sins. We advise you to be patient with him as long as there is hope in his reform and to avoid discord with your in-laws because of him. The outcome of patience is always good; please refer to fatwa 83577 about the virtues of patience.
Secondly, you should supplicate Allah in his favor and implore Him to rectify his affairs. Indeed, supplication is an essential and important means to accomplish one's objectives. Allah, The Exalted, says (what means): {And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you." Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hellfire (rendered) contemptible.} [Quran 40:60]
Indeed, Allah, The Exalted, is able to rectify his affairs in the blink of an eye, so place your trust in Him.
Thirdly, you should continue to advise him and seek the help of wise people whom he would listen to to clarify the importance of striving to earn a living and the reported forbiddance of staying idle without work to him. He should be reminded of the like of the hadeeth narrated by Hakeem ibn Hizaam, may Allah be pleased with him, in which the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "The upper hand (which gives) is better than the lower one (which receives); and begin (charity) with those who are under your care; and the best charity is that which is given out of surplus; and the one who seeks chastity, Allah will grant him chastity; and the one who abstains from asking others, Allah will make him self-sufficient." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
He should be told that his idleness may be the reason for engaging in sinful talks with women, and it may lead to more serious sins in the future. He should be advised to repent to Allah of such acts. If he does not stop, he may be deserted if it is hoped that deserting him would help deter him.
Fourthly, you should consult with his wise relatives and discuss his situation, clarifying to them that you do not approve of his actions and that you may ask him to leave your house. This would reduce the negative effects that may result from kicking him out of your house that should be the last resort after all other possible means have been exhausted, just as cauterization is the last resort in treatment.
Allah knows best.
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