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Fatwa CenterHow to deal with the quarrels between one’s children
Question
Salaamoealeikoum wa rahmatoelah, May Allah reward you with the beste place in the akhira and guide all muslims. My children (3yrs and 6 yrs) are often fighting. I try not to to choose part of anyone, but i just dont know how to react anymore. i try to stay calm, make dua, but it is to often. Please how can i guide my children. How did the prophet peace be upon him take care of this issues and the sahaba?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Such quarrels between the children at home are something normal and should not be a cause for worry. They may be due to their young age or jealousy especially if the two children were born one after another.
Here are some guidelines:
1- We advise the parents to take it easy in regard to this matter and not react nervously to it, and avoid some conduct that may cause harm more than benefit such as swearing and the like. Anas 
said: “I served the Prophet ten years, and he never told me ‘uff’ (a word of disrespect), and never told me why you did such and such thing or why you did not do such and such thing.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
2- To try to preoccupy the children with something beneficial.
3- Not to tell the one who is wrong immediately that he is wrong; rather, it is better to do this later when one is calmed down.
4- Not to resort to beating as a way of solving the problem except in limited conditions and in case beating is beneficial for the child as a way of disciplining him. A young child who is below the age of distinction [i.e. below 7 years] is usually harmed by beating and he is not benefitted by it.
5- To be keen on supplicating to Allaah that which is good for the children and to be keen on protecting them by reading Islamic supplications and Athkaar (mention of Allaah) as there is much good in them.
For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 91461.
Allaah Knows best.
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