salam aleikum. i have problems with my daughter who is 7 years and i really need som advice. I live in scandinavian kafer country. I have convert 2 and half years ago. one year after i converted i finded my husband who is very good muslim and we now have one son with who is 4 months. before i married him i have one daughter with other man (whn i was kafer) who i lived with for 5 years. My daughter is 7 and we have not have any contact with her dad since she was 2 years. He is kafer and he dont want contact with her. Anyway i have been married now for one and half years with my wonderful husband and my daughter loves him. she go to muslim school and she have very much knowledge about islam and she used to have hijab before. Our problem with her is big. SHe dont want to be muslim anymore and we have many big problems with her. We have talk with one sheikh her about her. He is principal in her school. He knows very much about our problems anyway she dont have any respect for me and my husband and she become more and more agressive. she throw things at us and insult us and hits me. we have try everything it dont work. I cant live like this anymore Our sheikh have give me advice that if its too much for me i can give her to my parents for to live there (even thow they are kafer) we have try to stop her from to go there but she becomes more bad and we have many problems with my parents. they have even say they will kill me. Me and my husband want to move to muslim country but it will take some years. I dont want my son and future children to grow up with one sister in the same home who dosent like islam. she can make fitnah for them. Maybe they want to become like she. i want to ask you what i should do. My daughter is breaking my marriage and making me crazy i dont have any sabr with her anymore. who will be responsible for her in the judgementday. me or her kafer dad. how long do i must to tolerate that she treat me and my husband bad. can i give her to other family
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, you should know that the children follow the better of the two religions of his/her parents (i.e. he/she follows the religion of his/her Muslim parent, either father or mother) in Fatwa 81957. Therefore, this daughter is ruled to be a Muslim as she follows your religion. Hence, you are responsible for nurturing her and educating her. She is still young and it is possible to positively influence her and rectify her.
We advise you to follow the following matters towards her:
1- Supplicating to Allaah to cause her to grow in a good manner, as the supplication of a parent for his children is accepted as confirmed in a Saheeh [authentic] Hadeeth reported by Ibn Maajah in his Sunnan.
2- Being patient with her and preoccupying her with permissible things that are liked by children such as toys and so forth; for more benefit on the excellence of patience, please refer to Fataawa 85445 and 83577.
3- Avoiding dealing with her in a harsh manner or rebuking her and other matters that may make her resentful towards you and your husband.
4- Being keen on keeping her away from any environment that may influence her, among which is to keep her away from her non-Muslim relatives. On this occasion, we advise you to take the initiative to migrate to a Muslim country and take her with you as it appears that she is influenced by some cultures that are prevalent in your county, and the matter may be even worse when she reaches the age of adolescence.
We ask Allaah to rectify her and make her a comfort to your eyes.
Allaah Knows best.
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