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Fatwa CenterShe is afraid to marry someone other than the man she loves
Question
salam alaikum sheikh
i am a 19 year old girl. my problem is that i have a neighbour who is 2 or 3 years elder to me. we dont know each other though our parents know each other well. i was abroad for several years and came back to home land for higher studies. my parents are still abroad. that is when i started noticing him. we were together on daawah programmes and he was a good muslim brother. we both belong to high class orthodox muslim families and we both are well noted in our place for our well behaviour. while enquiring about him i found that he was a good person and have had no affairs before. same case is with me. but i am attracted to him now and i have a feeling that he too is attracted to me though he have behaved humbly towards me all this while. we dont have any contacts over phones or e-mail. but i have got many proposals and people have been behind me to fall in love with them. but alhamdulillah i have rejected them all and allah has protected me from going astray. but now i feel allah might have made us for each other, since we both didn't have affairs before but now we are attracted to each other. i informed this to my aunt though she asked me to concentrate on my studies now. but am scared i'll get married before him. but she says that if we both get married people will say many things unwanted about us. but how can they say that? as i told before i feel allah have destined me to be his wife. but i have also a feeling that it may be the shaitan that makes me think like that to make me astray. what should i do. i cant tell him this now as that might lead us both astray. but as i told if i dont inform any one i might get married earlier. please reply me in an islamic perspective.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Indeed, you did well by not establishing an affectionate relationship with this young man although you love him. If a Muslim woman loves a man, she is obliged to keep herself chaste and not commit anything that is forbidden by Allaah with him. So, it is not permissible for you to inform him that you love him as this may be a means for temptation. Moreover, you should stay away from any suspicious situations, be it with this man or with any other man.
However, it is permissible for you to wish that he will be your husband, and it is permissible to supplicate Allaah to facilitate your marriage to him; but you should make that dependent on its being good for you, like saying ‘...if you [Allaah] know that my marriage to him is good for me.’; as it is Allaah Who knows the outcome of everything. Besides, it might appear to you that your happiness will be by marrying him but in reality it is the opposite. Allaah Says (what means): {… and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah knows but you do not know.}[Quran 2:216]
Marriage is an objective that you should take the initiative to fulfill, especially if there are many reasons of affliction. Also, marriage is not an obstacle to continuing your studies. Therefore, if you wish to marry this young man, then it is permissible for you to inform him about it provided you fulfill the religious conditions, like not being in seclusion with him and so forth. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 88442. Then if he wants to marry you, he should meet your guardian in order to ask for your hand. Nonetheless, you should perform Istikhaarah prayer about him and Allaah will predestine whatever is better for you. For more benefit on Istikhaarah, please refer to Fatwa 81434.
Afterwards, if the marriage is facilitated with him, then praise be to Allaah, otherwise you should not think about him. Instead, you may think that if the marriage is concluded with him, it might be a reason for much affliction and many problems in marital life. For more benefit on how to treat love sickness, please refer to Fatwa 84544.
Allaah Knows best.
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