Strengthening Bonds

Musaddigue Thange, 35, also hopes to bring more self-discipline and piety in his life through the fast of Ramadan. Breaking the fast with his family, while difficult at times is one of his priorities.

"In my opinion, Ramadan is not only a personal spiritual endeavor but should also be an opportunity to get closer to one's family in a manner that enhances our commitment to work together for the pleasure of Allah Almighty," emphasized Thange, of San Diego, Calif. "Iftaar is a very special time in the day of the fasting person. Sharing it with loved ones, and making a special effort to do so, strengthens the bonds between family members".
With the consent of his manager, Thange, a computer software engineer, starts his day early in order to reach home before Iftaar. He sometimes takes days off from work, particularly on Fridays, to give increased attention to his spiritual growth.

This year, Thange intends to teach his three-year-old son the virtues of Sadaqah as well, by having him save money which will be used toward buying food for the poor, he mentioned.

Jahaan Muhammad, a homeschooling mother, makes Ramadan special in the lives of her five children by not only celebrating it with them but using it as a springboard for their learning. First, they prepare their home by cleaning it. Then, they put up `Ramadan Mubaarak' signs everywhere in their home.

Once the holy month begins, she holds short study circles with her children. Along with memorizing the Quran, they discuss fasting, what it means, the fast of the Prophet among other topics. She also plans out arts and crafts projects revolving around Ramadan. In addition to making the Casaba and designing Mosques, they make their own poems and stories related to Ramadan and fasting. Card-making is also a regular activity associated with this month while TV-viewing is kept to a minimum.

"I want to give them my best and I do it for the sake of Allah Almighty. It is a blessing when your child can tell you what Ramadan means," Jahaan, of Madison, Wis., said. "Basically, the point is to spend time together as a family as much as possible."

She admits that juggling everything during Ramadan is especially challenging but she manages to keep her resolutions going. "I try to plan an activity in the morning, one they can do by themselves. While they are busy with that, I am busy too with the household chores and other things. I sometimes play Islamic songs or Quran during this time," she commented. She finds her quiet time for personal avadavat once the kids are asleep.

Janet Nazify shares Jahaan's resolutions—but at work. As principal of Noor-Ul-Iman, a full-time Islamic school in South Brunswick, N.J., she both promotes and oversees a Ramadan spirit among her students. From decorating to special Ramadan projects and from less homework to school-sponsored ‘I'tikaaf, the entire routine at the school changes, she said.

At home, she manages family time, household chores, and her Ramadan goals. In addition to reading the Quran and Islamic books more diligently, she concentrates on incorporating a new action, even if small, into her set schedule. The constancy of repeating it over the course of a month helps her to establish it as a habit.

"There are only 24 hours in a day. You spread yourself thin. I get more tired," admitted Nazif, of Montgomery Township, N. J. "You have to let a little bit of [something] go. You take care of the day-to-day tasks and let the larger long-term projects slide during Ramadan".

Learning Lessons

Rodrigo Adem, however, perceives the extra toll that Ramadan takes on him as an opportunity to build endurance and finds this to be a strength he can utilize in a variety of settings. "In any exercise designed to make one stronger, one has to put one's self beyond one's own comfort level," he said, adding that this can give us a heightened awareness of our own thresholds.

"I don't think it is a bad thing to be too tired to bicker or find faults," he observed. "Later, when I am not struggling, I appreciate what I do have and remember those moments I felt in Ramadan, when I took responsibility for my soul's actions and made myself sensitive to my own whims, and rejected them for the sake of Allah Almighty.”

Indeed, the Prophet stated that the fasting is a "shield" for the believers [Al-Bukhari]. It is not only a timeframe during which we stay away from food, drink, and carnal desires, but also a state of mind, one which goes beyond the actual fasting hours in the month of Ramadan, and hopefully, spills over to the rest of our lives.

In fact, training our minds even as we face worldly tasks and distractions is the true challenge of this blessed month. And, of course, the journey doesn't end with the sighting of the moon for ‘Eed al-Fitr—rather, it only begins, for we can never harvest the full benefit of Ramadan until we carry it with us throughout the year and onwards, feeling strengthened by its arrival each year of our remaining lives, Inshaa’ Allah.

Source: Aljumuah