Whose will is considered in choosing the husband, the daughter's or her mother's?

23-3-2006 | IslamWeb

Question:

What is the religious ruling on a woman who wants to separate between her daughter and a man whom she loves and who loves her, and both of them want to marry according to the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam?

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

 

If this man is religious and has a good moral conduct, then the mother should not refuse him as a husband for her daughter, but if he does not have the above characteristics, then she has the right to refuse him.

Our advice to this daughter is that if this man is religious and has a good moral conduct, she should endeavour to convince her mother with good and soft words, and good admonition, then if she is convinced, all perfect praise be to Allaah, otherwise she may seek the help of whoever she thinks may influence her, if again she is not convinced, then the obedience of her mother comes in priority over marrying that specific man, and Allaah willing, He will bless her with a man better than him because of her being kind and dutiful to her mother. However, if this man is not pleasing with regard to his religion and does not have a good moral conduct, then this woman is obliged to obey her mother and forget this man.

Finally, it should be noted that it is not permissible for a woman to establish an affectionate relationship with a marriageable man outside of marriage, and she should cut this relationship with him immediately unless marriage takes place.

Allaah Knows best.