A daughter wants to stay unmarried
25-9-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
A father is looking for a groom for his daughter but she wants to remain unmarried. What should the father do? If the daughter does not agree to marry even after Naseehah, should the father leave her alone? On the daughter's part is there any sin if she makes such a decision, is it counted as disobedience to parents? And finally, for how long does the father have to spend on this daughter who has chosen to remain unmarried? Does this choice of hers mean that she has to start earning her own living?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
All the juristic rulings that are used to classify the actions, apply to the matter of marriage; sometimes it is compulsory others likeable and yet other times it is only permissible. If the girl fears temptation or harm if she is not married then marriage becomes compulsory even if her father does not order her. If she does not fear seduction or temptation then marriage becomes likeable or simply permissible. But, in this case, if her father orders her to get married then it becomes compulsory for her.
The author of 'Al Insaaf' (a book of Hanbali Fiqh) says, stating the rulings of marriage, 'When marriage is merely likeable, does it become compulsory if both parents or one of them order her to get married or not? Imaam Ahmad
says: 'If one's parents order their son to get married, I will order him to do so, similarly if he is still young and fears committing illegal sexual intercourse.' (End of quote). If this ruling is pertaining to a son then it becomes more emphasized in the case of a daughter even if there is no harm in abstaining from marriage.
As for the daughter's right regarding her expenditure, it is not abolished merely by her refusal to get married. So, her father has to spend on her if she is needy and does not have a husband who bears her expenditure.
Finally, we advise the father to be kind with his daughter and try to convince her using all lawful means.
Allaah Knows best.