Husband married her only for green card in USA
26-4-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am a new Muslimah who has been married to a Muslim for a few years now, however once I made the decision to revert and told my husband I was wanting to start a family he told me he at first only married me for a green card and his parents would never accept me into there family since I am not from there lineage. He then said if it were a perfect world he would stay with me but he doesn't want to hurt his parents and neither do I. I married him for love; I thought he married me for love. I am a good girl. I don't smoke, I don't drink, or anything that most American girls do. What can be done to show his family that just because I am not from there lineage doesn't mean I am not a good person? I desperately want to have children. And I did not revert to have him stay with me I didn't even know he married me for a green card till I had pregnancy scare. And he told me we can never have kids because of this situation. I want to be a good Muslimah, a good wife, and Inshaa Allaah someday soon a good mother but I don't know how to get his family to accept me. I don't know what I'd do without him. Would Allaah put us together just to pull us apart? I don't think he would, there must be something we can do, but I am new to Islam, and I want to do everything right. Please I desperately need advise.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
First of all we congratulate you for embracing Islam and we ask Allaah to reward you and enable you and us to be steadfast on His religion until the Day we meet Him.
You have to know that religion and good moral conduct is the criteria for choosing spouses. Even if the wife is from another family lineage than that of the husband, in religion this is not a problem. A wife could be close to the husband in relation to his family lineage but could be very far from him in religion and good moral conduct, on the contrary a woman could be far from her husband's family lineage but very close to him in relation to religion and good moral conduct. Moreover, the wife has exactly the same right as her husband in having children. So it is not permissible for the husband to prevent his wife from this right without a sound religious reason.
Therefore, if your husband is as you have stated in the question, that he is preventing you from your right of having children, then if he is a religious man with a good moral conduct and it is suitable for you to continue the marital life with him while expecting that advise would be beneficial to him, then we advise you to advise him and remind him of Allaah with good words, and try to convince him about having children. Besides, you should remind him that he should try to convince his family that you, being from another family lineage than his, is not an obstacle for the continuity of marital life or having children.
So, if he takes heed, all perfect praise be to Allaah, otherwise we do not see that it is proper for you to stay with such a husband especially if he is not religious and does not have a good moral conduct. Having children with him while he is on this condition could lead to unpleasant consequences. So it is more appropriate for you to ask for divorce [in case he is not religious and does not have a good moral conduct] especially that you have mentioned that his purpose in marriage is in order to get the citizenship and he is not interested in you. If he does not grant you divorce, then you can take the matter to an Islamic centre to study your case and remove the harm from you. If divorce takes place, it might be that Allaah will bless you with a righteous husband who would be a comfort to your eyes. Indeed, many pious and righteous Muslims would wish to get married with a righteous and pious woman like you. In this regard [to get married], you can seek the help of the trustworthy brothers who are running Islamic centres.
Finally, it should be noted that Islam should not be judged according to the bad behaviour of some Muslims.
Allaah knows best.