His wife has taken up with another man and refuses to listen to reason
3-3-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am Muslim Egyptian married to Muslim Egyptian for 11 years and engaged for additional 2 years. We lived in this foreign country for 9 years. She was the perfect wife, mother, friend and companion. We got through many problems financially (on the edge) and we made it out. She never worked till after I decided to give private business and get a real job to support the family. She also started to finish her like to practice in the medical field. Her supervisor was a Muslim man from the Gulf (Non Arab). Since then all the problems started (2 yrs ago). Beginning with her going to parties at this person house with taken the kids with her disregarding my instruction not to and my disapproval of her actions. Till recently she starting to say that mirage between us is not working. I supported her till she got her like. And now has much more income than mine since 8 months. She participates in the house expense and she started to tell everyone that what I care about is only money and I want to take all her income. That is never been true. I attempt several times to work all the problems with her. But always appears to me she is not welling to. Then she started to ask for divorce despite all efforts no way she is insisting on it claiming that is best for the kids. Her family supporting her after she showed me the person who only cares about money. I did every thing I can to explain and re-direct our lives in different direction and attempt to restart over again so fresh start for the kids benefits (three 10, 8, 4 yrs). Seems no way all the sudden I saw more resistant to even me attempt to change of myself to meet her in the middle. She stopped to be a wife to me and enforce it to the max. Her behaviour become very unusual that after love story and dreams and future built together to the point she could not stand the min. She is out of this relationship. It just happened that I discovered a recoded phone conversation between my wife and another person (her supervisor) and the conversation spill out several private meeting and description of intimate and sex relationship between both of them. I confronted her. She completely denied everything and said once she was imagining me talking to, another excuse, she was talking to a girl friend. None is not a logical or acceptable to me since the conversation was very clear to whom she was talking to, what kind of memories and/or actions she is done with him or wants to do and finally also discussing how frequent and how much she is in need for it now and for the rest of her life. I did not what needs to be done at this time. I left the house and prayed to Allaah for goodness. I went back to home and offer her two ways no third.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Dear brother, we ask Allaah to protect you and your family from evil and deviation.
Basically, it is not allowed for a Muslim to live in a non-Muslim country for the bad consequence a believer faces there. To know the details read Fataawa: 81464 and 81642.
You were mistaken when you allowed her to mix with opposite sex or to go out of the house without any dire necessity which is accepted in Islam. So, you have to repent sincerely form this sin. To know how to repent read our Fatwa: 81467.
If the reality is as you mentioned in your question then you must divorce her. However, you have to find any possible means to take the custody of your children to protect their religion. Otherwise, you will be held accountable for them in front of Allaah.
Moreover, we advise you to leave the country and return to your home country (
Allaah knows best.