She is confused about her husband's claim to have another wife
16-2-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
My husband of 10 years went on vacation met a woman, slept with her and after said he married her Islaamicly. She was previously married and about to be married again when he met her. She is not a Muslim and has 1 daughter. I have 3 beautiful children with him and love him a lot. He came back to us a very different man, and did not tell me about her until I found some e-mails and pictures. He has kept the marriage a secret from everyone including his family and hers. It is almost as if he is a different man.
Now he is about to leave again to go see her, but will not give me any information as to when or how long. He said he is confused and not sure what he wants, and just wants to see her one more time to be sure.
He has been very nasty and hurtful words me, but I have continued to do my best to be a good wife to him and try to get passed all of this.
I am wondering first if the marriage is legitimate Islaamicly, I know legally it is not. And what my rights Islaamicly are if he chooses to keep her? He keeps saying that he does not know what he wants; he needs time to figure it out. How much time is too much?
I love him a lot, but it is hurting me extremely bad and affecting our children.
His family is very confused also, but tells me to keep doing what I am doing and Inshaa Allaah, he will come back to all of us and we can move on.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
The marriage of your husband to this non-Muslim woman if she is not from the people of the book is invalid as it is not permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman unless she is from the people of the book. Allaah says (which means): {And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone).}[2:221]. However, if this woman is from the People of the Book and the marriage met the correct marriage requirements, the most important of which is the presence of the guardian and the witnesses, then his marriage to her is correct if it took place after repentance and after making sure that the womb did not conceive from the abominable sin of adultery. However, if the marriage took place before repentance and before making sure that she did not become pregnant from fornication, the scholars
differed about the ruling on such marriage. Nonetheless, some scholars consider it to be correct.
Moreover, it should be noted that if your husband fears a harm by being married to this woman, it is more appropriate for him to divorce her, as it is very rare for a marriage with a woman of the people of the book to be free from disadvantages and harms; this is in relation to your husband.
As far as you are concerned, we advise you to be patient with him and you should advise him in good words about his mistakes and warn him about things that could have a bad effect on the education of the children. Concerning your rights on him, he has to be just with you with regard to providing for you and spending the night with you. If he meets these requirements, then it does not matter whether he continues his marriage to this woman or divorces her. Finally, you should bring up your children according to Islamic creed and morals.
Allaah knows best.