Disagreements between her mother and her fiancé

1-11-2004 | IslamWeb

Question:

I have the following problem. I am engaged and marry in a couple of months. My husband does not earn much for the moment. That does not disturb me, because I go work and earn many, too. My mother is very common for this reason to him. She is not personally commonly to him, but she talks with me over him. If I take it in protection, she becomes then bad to me. But the problem is that my husband and my mother always have different opinion. That means if my man says to me he would like to take a dwelling immediately, then my mother says to me I should take next year a dwelling. The problem is if I abide the words from my mother then my husband is mad on me and we argue us, he feel hurts and disappointed from me.
On the other side, if I listen of the desire of my engaged, become my mother furiously and common of me. This problem loads me very much, because I don't no what to do? Should I listen of my mother or to my engaged? What says the Koran to situation?

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

 

Marriage is legislated for high and noble objectives, such as the chastity of the husband and wife, and increasing the Muslim nation in number. So you have to advise your mother and your fiancé, and try to reconcile between them. There is no doubt that it is an obligation on you to be dutiful to your mother. As regards this man, since he is just a fiancé and the marriage contract has not yet been concluded, he is not Islamicly your husband; rather he is an alien man to you and you do not have to obey him. The right of your mother has priority over his right. So it is not permissible for him to be in seclusion with you at all, or to talk with you without a need and so forth. 

Allaah knows best.