Her husband does not sleep at home or pay her support
29-8-2004 | IslamWeb
Question:
I married what I thought was a lovely man. Now because of an argument we had 2 months ago he does not sleep at home. He has admitted adultery (but not full sex) and has given me no money to pay the bills (I work but it is very hard to pay for everything and now I owe alot of money to the bank). He does not want to compromise and insists on not coming home, so i lie in bed awake at night worrying about him and if he is seeing other women. Am I right to force him to make a choice and if he doesn't want to see a lawyer and get divorced. I am worried about losing my job because all do is cry. My son from my first marriage is showing great stress too.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Islam guides us to the suitable way of disciplining a transgressing husband. Allaah Says (interpretation of meaning): {And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there it no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them — and settlement is best.}[4:128].
The verse emphasizes that making settlement is better than separation. So, we advise you to do your best to solve the marital problems. You can ask the help of those who can influence your husband such as a Muslim scholar, a good friend, or an honorable relative. We hope that Allaah will guide him to the right path.
If he insists on his bad manners and does not change, and you no longer can bear the harm, then you have the right to sue him in an Islamic court if it is available, otherwise you may consult the Islamic centers or Muslim organizations in your area, and certainly they will solve your problem.
Basically, referring to the civil courts is not allowed except if there is no way to get one's right; then it becomes allowed. In such courts, if the judge rules contrary to the teachings of Islam, then one must not follow his verdict because he cannot make lawful what is unlawful or vice versa, even if the judge is a Muslim. So what if he is not a Muslim?
Allaah knows best.