Husband's permission for gift-giving
5-5-2004 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am a Muslim woman married to a Muslim man. Sometimes I like to give my family, mom, dad, brother, sister, nephew or niece, some gifts. I have to get permission from my husband as he is the sole money provider to the family every time I do that, even when I say the gift is from me and my husband?
Usually the gifts are very symbolic and are not very expensive. Also God has blessed my husband with a good job that pays well. So I’m not taking money from myself and husband and children to give away to my family. I like to show love to my family.
Also, please note that my husband spends money on his elderly parents, brothers and sisters, not that they are in need either, but just as a symbol of love.
Regarding Sadaqa, do I have to inform my husband as well? I have a woman who helps in the house. Sometimes I give her some extra money after she finishes if she says that they have a crisis, or I give her some fruit if she sees some and mentions liking them. If we are cooking I give some of the food that we cooked for her to take home to her family. Please advise if that is ok and if we have to inform the husband every time. I know he gets the reward as well because the money spent is his.
Answer:
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
It is lawful for the woman to give small amounts of her husband’s wealth in charity without his permission and they are both rewarded for that. Each one gets half of the reward.
Muslim reported from Ayisha (Radiya Allahu Anha) that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “If the woman gives out some of her husband’s food without lavishness, she gets reward for what she gave and her husband (gets reward) for what he earned and the store keeper gets the same. No one of them reduces the reward of the other-one in anyway.” Al Bukhari and Muslim reported from Abu Hurairah that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: “The woman should not fast (voluntarily) when her husband is present except with his permission. And anything she gives away from his earnings without his order, she gets half its reward and he gets the other half.”
Al Nawawi said while explaining this Hadith: 'Know that all this is limited to the small amount that is habitually accepted by the owner. Now if the amount exceeds that, then it is not lawful to give it without his permission.' The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) mentioned “without lavishness” meaning acceptable in normal situations by the husband. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) also mentioned “food” because it is usually acceptable to give it, unlike money and other valuable things as the latter are not to be given away according to many people except in special situations. Know also that what is meant by “giving away” is spending on the wife, the slave the store keeper and the expenditure on the husband’s children, his interests, his guests and the like. This also includes the alms permitted conventionally or expressingly from the husband himself.
So, from what Imam Nawawi said we conclude that the permission of the husband is either explicit or conventional. So, if the woman has any of the two types of permission, she can act according to it. In this case, she can give what she gives away to some of the man’s relatives, her relatives, or anyone else whom she thinks deserves that.
However, giving it to her parents is more appropriate. As for giving away some of the food to the woman who sweeps the house, this does not require permission from the husband.
Concerning the fact that your husband spends on his parents, brothers and sisters, this is his right as the money is his and he has the right to spend it as he wishes. The people who are more deserving of his gifts are his parents and relatives. Similarly, if the woman has money, she has the right to spend on her parents and relatives. Spending on them might even become compulsory if her parents are needy or poor as long as there is no lavishness in that.
Allah knows best.