Supporting His Father Who Is Deceiving Him
10-5-2003 | IslamWeb
Question:
I have been living over seas from 7 years. I'm the only person in my family who earns and supports his parents, one married brother with two sons. They do not have any other source of income. Since I started earning send as much money as my father asked me to send whether I was jobless or didn't have enough money and had to borrow money from somebody, and I knew that my father was deceiving me from that time. I do not want to be disobedient. What should I do? He tells me 10 times greater of actual expenditures. I do have some problems hearing these things. Can you tell me how to deal with my father? What Islam tells about father who deceives his son regarding these matters?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
You are not supposed to be suspicious of your father neither are you supposed to describe him as a deceiver as long as you have any way to that. This is part of your keeping good company with him and obeying him that is highly rewarded by Allah.
You are not supposed to remind him of what you gave him even if the amount he spent exceeds the expenditures of the family because doing so is unlawful. Ibn Maajah and Ahmad reported from ‘Amr Ibn Shuayb 
from his father from his grandfather that the latter said: "A man came to the Prophet and said: "My father took away my money." The Prophet said: "You and your wealth belong to your father." The Prophet also said: "Your children are among the best of your earnings, so eat from their belongings." [Ibn Maajah]
However, you are not asked to send to your family more than what suffices them, now that you have come to know what is sufficient for them. It is not mandatory to spend on your parents more than their needs. Seek reward from Allah for what you have already spent on them. Know that this money was not spoiled. Indeed, it has been deposited for you for a Day about which Allah Says (what means): {The Day when there will not benefit [anyone] wealth or children. But only one who comes to Allah with a sound heart.} [Quran 26:88-89]
For more benefit on the limits of obedience to parents, please refer to Fataawa 271255, 131695 and 123554.
Allah knows best.