Refuses to Marry to Take Care of Her Mother
25-9-2002 | IslamWeb
Question:
I'm Sunny Muslimah, age 40. I'm living with my mother, age 64 years. My parents divorced in 1970, she was 34 yrs/old, she refused to get married after her divorce and she sacrificed all her youth to raise us (6 daughters and 1 son), al-Hamdulillah, she made a good job. Now, that she is getting old, she, more than certain, needs us to take care of her. All my sisters got married and most of them live abroad, I'm the only one that lives with my mother now and I know certainly that she needs me with her. She prefers to spend the rest of her life in her own house. She sacrificed a lot for us and it is time for us to do a little sacrifices for her, the little thing I can do for her is to stay and live in Morocco close to her and be there when she needs me, Insha Allah. The question please now Allah give me the good husband who want married me but abroad not in Morocco and I refused always this marriage because of my mother. Yes I have 1 sister married to a Moroccan brother, but unfortunately he is no good Muslim and he is very difficult and my sister can't take care of my mother, and give her what she need and want. Also I have my brother married to a Moroccan sister and live here in Morocco but as you know the daughter is not like the son even if he is Mardi Al-Walidin and Al-Hamdulillah, also the reason that I am not married yet is, first of all, it is Mashee-atu-Allah, then I don't find a good husband here in Morocco.Then please, tell me if I refuse to marry because of my mother is Haram or Halal?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
No doubt that obeying one's parents is a great matter. It is an act of obedience to The Lord of the Heavens and the Earth. It helps one to get nearer to Allah. We ask Allah to make you adhere to performing good and accept your good deeds. We believe that the best way to achieve this is to combine both benefits; i.e., that your mother gets someone to take care of her and that you get a pious husband that makes you live happily.
The person most entitled to take care of your mother after you is your brother. Although this care cannot be as perfect as what you provided for your mother, you ought to achieve this second benefit of marrying this man.
So, we believe that you should marry this man. You should marry him since he is of a good character and pious, and since someone else can take care of your mother. You can still do good, kind acts for your mother, such as supporting her materially and making Du'a for her, as well as visiting her whenever possible.
Allah knows best.