Worried About Children's Future Since Wife Does Not Practice Islam
1-1-2002 | IslamWeb
Question:
My wife for 14 years became Muslim about 2 years ago. Her practice of Islam hasn't improved since she took Shahadah, no praying and no fasting and no covering of hair. But she stopped going to Church, and I truly believe she is sincere in her belief. She tells my 3 year old daughter Al-hamdu Lillah when she sneezes, and she answers Salaam when I say it. I started praying and fasting only three years ago and always prayed for my wife to become Muslim, Alhamdu Lillah my prayers were answered. Now I have another daughter 2 months old. I am getting worried about my daughters future without a practicing mother. Living in the USA, divorce would be a disaster for my children's faith, I think. My wife has very bad social skills. She doesn't like to visit my family (parents, brothers, & sisters)and she doesn't like me to visit them more than once a week. My mother tells me to divorce her. But I am worried about her returning to being a Christian if I divorce her because of the impact of her parents and environment in the USA. This will prove to be a disaster for my children's faith. Should I listen to my mother? Or should I be patient for the sake of my children. May Allah forgive our sins and guide us all.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Dear brother, we advise you to continue your efforts to bring your wife to the right path. Try various ways to convince her to observe the rulings of the Sharee’ah. Remind her of the Might of Allah, the Greatness of Allah, and that He is the Creator, the Sustainer, Who Alone gives life and death and grants blessings which are even beyond count and imagination. Allah Says (what means): {And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them.} [Quran 14:34]
Make her aware that a human being is so weak that he does not have any power of himself; rather, he belongs to Allah. All the matters of a person are in the Hands of Allah; He Alone manages the matters and it is He Who created man through many stages. Allah Says (what means): {Does man think that he will be left neglected? Had he not been a sperm from semen emitted? Then he was a clinging clot, and [Allah] created [his form] and proportioned [him] And made of him two mates, the male and the female. Is not that [Creator] Able to give life to the dead?} [Quran 75:36-40]
So, Allah who has granted all the blessings is able to take them back at anytime. Allah Says (what means): {Say, “Have you considered: if Allah should take away your hearing and your sight and set a seal upon your hearts, which deity other than Allah could bring them [back] to you?” Look how we diversify the verses; then they [still] turn away.} [Quran 6:46]
Allah has revealed His Sharee’ah and has Commanded human beings to follow it. Whoever accepts it and puts it into implementation, he never goes astray nor becomes miserable and Allah will grant him Paradise in the Hereafter. And whoever turns away from His Sharee’ah, verily, for him is a life of hardship and he will face severe torment in the Hereafter.
We also advise you to purchase useful Islamic books and cassettes that may impress your wife and help her to adhere to the right path.
You and your wife need to develop relations with other Muslims and receive instruction in knowledge and practice of Islam, including raising children, family obligations, etc.
If your wife still does not pay attention to the rulings of the Sharee’ah, and does not follow the Sharee’ah; then, in this case, the second step is to leave her alone in her bed and not to sleep with her. If this practice works, then praise be to Allah Who guided her to the right path. If she does not change herself and continues disobeying Allah, then as a last step you may beat her lightly without harming her physically, if that is useful.
Allah Says (what means): {But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.} [Quran 4:34]
Know that all the above instructions are recommended only if you believe that they may have good results. If all these efforts do not benefit, then you have only one choice, that is to separate from her.
No doubt, being with a wife who does not follow the Sharee’ah is more harmful than the harms you might face by separating from her.
In fact, the religion of a Muslim is far more important than any other matter.
Allah knows best.