Stay with the husband in non-Muslim country or go to a Muslim country
8-2-2012 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am a married woman with six children. I live with my husband in a non-Muslim country. Whenever I ask him to allow me to return to my native country, Algeria, he refuses on the pretext that it is difficult to settle in Algeria and find a house there. Previously, I had asked my mother’s permission to stay with her in Algeria along with my children and she agreed, however my husband orders me to stay with him until he gets enough money to buy a house. I believe that Allaah The Almighty would support me if I chose to emigrate from a non-Muslim country. I am quite confused and I fear losing my children if I do not follow my conscience and emigrate. What should I do?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
First of all, it is the obligation of a Muslim woman to obey her husband in doing good, but at the same time, it is an aspect of goodness that the husband does not order her to do an act that involves the disobedience of Allaah. In return, Allaah The Almighty promises to reward her amply for her obedience and patience. It was narrated that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam , said that if a woman observed the obligatory prayers, fasted the month of Ramadan, safeguarded her chastity and obeyed her husband, Allaah The Almighty would allow her to enter Paradise from whichever gate she chooses. [Ahmad]
It was also reported that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, mentioned that the best woman is the one who pleases her husband when he looks at her, obeys him when he orders her, and safeguards his honor and property when he is away from her. Then, the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, recited the verse where Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Men are in charge of women.} [Quran 4: 34] [At-Tabari and Abu Haatim]
There is no doubt that it is impermissible to obey the husband if he orders his wife to live permanently in a non-Muslim country without there being dire necessity, because this would be considered great disobedience. In this regard, it was reported that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, forbade Muslims to live with non-Muslims or mix with them. He added that whoever did so would be considered as one of them. [Abu-Daawood, At-Tirmithi, An-Nasaa’i and At-Tabaraani]
Likewise, it was reported that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, disavowed any Muslim who lives among the non-Muslims because they have totally opposite aims; one of them calls to faith and the other calls to disbelief. [Abu Daawood and At-Tirmithi]
Consequently, if your husband does not object to you returning to your country but prefers to wait until he makes the necessary arrangements, then obeying him and waiting in this case is not considered an act of disobedience, on the condition that you do not stay for a long time and that your children are not exposed to temptations. On the other hand, if you feel that your children are starting to be influenced by the non-Muslim lifestyle, then, in this case, it is obligatory to take them to a Muslim country. You have to try to convince your husband and decide mutually on a certain deadline that is not to be exceeded. If it is difficult to stay in your native country in the meantime, then you should try to find a place that poses less of a risk than the one you are currently in.
Regarding your husband, if he is righteous and steadfast, you should try to convince him gently and understand his circumstances. However, if this matter lasts for a long time and you fear temptation and he insists to stay, then know that both Allaah and His Messenger, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, are ever worthier to be obeyed. You would then have to arrange for emigration along with your children and rely on Allaah The Almighty, for He will certainly support you.
Allaah Knows best.