Ruling on Speaking to Female Classmates and the Correct Approach to Marriage
29-3-2026 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalamu 'alaykum I'm a bit confused about free mixing. What exactly counts as speaking out of necessity? When I speak with girls at my university, I often wonder if it's really necessary. Plus, it's tough to to marry a girl you want without spending time together, even if it's just in public and without touching, since fathers might not understand the shariah ruling on proposals and could be against arranging meetings. I'm 20 years old and I follow Abu Hanifa.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad (
) is His Slave and Messenger.
We thank you for your eagerness to learn the rulings of your religion and to avoid the causes of temptation and what is not permissible in Islamic law. We ask Allah to preserve your religion and increase you in guidance, piety, and righteousness.
The scholars of the Ḥanafī school, like the scholars of other schools of jurisprudence, prohibit casual conversation between a man and a non-maḥram woman. However, they permit it in cases of need. Examples of such need include matters like testimony, buying and selling, and similar necessities.
Based on this, we may say that speaking with your female classmates is permissible if it is for a genuine need related to your studies, and cannot be fulfilled through male students. This is allowed on the condition that it is limited strictly to the need and one is safe from temptation (fitnah)
As for the claim that it is difficult to marry a woman without spending time with her and sitting together to get to know one another, this is not correct. The proper and sound way to learn about a woman’s character is to ask trustworthy people who know her well, and then proceed with a formal proposal.
This is because such meetings may involve pretense and artificial behavior, where a person displays good character outwardly, while their true nature may later become apparent – contrary to what was shown during those interactions.
Allah Knows best