A paternal uncle is permitted to discipline his nephew
14-1-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
Is a paternal uncle entitled to abuse his powerless13-year-old nephew and beat? Does this please Allaah?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
The paternal uncle is required to be keen to morally discipline his nephew. In doing so, it is better for him to use a kind and wise approach and try to persuade him emotionally and mentally. Such a manner is particularly necessary when dealing with adolescents. Beating should not be used unless other means are fruitless. If the boy's father is present, it is better that his father assumes this role. However, if his father is dead or unable to discipline him, the paternal uncle assumes this responsibility in his place. In a Marfoo' Hadeeth, Az-Zuhari 
narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The paternal uncle is a father when there is no father.” [Ibn Al-Mubaarak in Al-Birr wa As-Silah]
The wording of another narration reads: “The paternal uncle is a father.” [Al-Albaani: Hasan]
Consequently, if the paternal uncle beats his nephew in order to discipline him after using all wise and lenient means, including mental and emotional persuasion along with encouragement and intimidation, he will not be considered oppressive unless he has transcended the limits. If the paternal uncle beats his nephew for another reason, he will not be doing the right thing because a Muslim is not permitted to oppress his fellow Muslim. In a Hadeeth, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The Muslim is a brother of the Muslim, he does not oppress him.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
‘Aa’ishah 
narrated that she said: “The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, never beat anyone with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant, but only, in the case when he had been fighting for the Sake of Allaah and he never took revenge for anything unless the Ordinances of Allaah were violated; he then took revenge for Allaah The Almighty.” [Muslim]
If that boy is oppressed, he is entitled to defend himself. However, it is better to be patient with his paternal uncle. Allaah The Exalted Says (what means): {And the retribution for an evil act is an evil one like it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation – his reward is [due] from Allaah. Indeed, He Does not Like the oppressors. And whoever avenges himself after having been oppressed – those have not upon them any cause [for blame].} [Quran 42: 40-41]
Allaah Knows best.