Characteristics to Ask about the Fiancee

14-10-2021 | IslamWeb

Question:

Assalamu alaikum. I am currently looking for a sister to marry, and physical qualities are very important to me. What sort of questions may I ask the Wali to gain an understanding of the sister's condition in this regard? May I ask about things such as her general attractiveness, height, weight, hair color, skin tone, etc.?

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

One of the most important matters that should be taken into consideration when looking for a wife is her religion and her moral conduct, but in addition to this, there is nothing wrong with seeking other characteristics that will help in the stability and continuity of marriage, like what is mentioned in the question.

Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said: “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, her family lineage, her beauty and her religion. So choose the religious one, you will prosper.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

In general, the fiancé may ask about what he wants to know about the character and moral characteristics of the fiancée, but you should not ask the guardian and the like, about that which he might usually be ashamed of, and this may vary according to different environments and people’s customs. You may seek help about this from your sisters and your other female relatives.

It is legislated for you to see the fiancée, and the Sharee’ah urged us to do that.

Al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah narrated that he proposed to a woman, so the Prophet told him: “Look at her, for this is more likely to create love between you.” [Al-Tirmidhi, An-Nasaa’i and Ibn Maajah]

Allah Knows best.