Marrying From the People of the Book While Hating them
25-4-2019 | IslamWeb
Question:
Thank you for answering my question in fatwa 384922. A lot of questions arouse from your answer. You said that the People of the Book have a heavelny religion. How can this be if sura 3:85 abrogated it and it is a false religion and only Islam is the true one? Can there be two true religions? See also fatwa 12718. You also said "if the Muslims have the upper hand" -- does that mean that marriage ist allowed only when Muslims have the upper hand? What is she does not want her false religion corrected? And then you said "affection between him and her is a natural affection and not an affection for the religion; this affection is like loving the parents and so on." and also: "love of a Muslim man for his wife who is from the People of the Book is because of their maritial relationship; but at the same time he hates the disbelief that she is upon." So please tell me how can he marry her if he hates her religion? Didn't he know what was her religion before he married her? Also: how cna she marry him is she does not love him regardless of his religion? As far as I see marriage is possible only if a person accepts the other side fully? And there is also this question: how can he love her if he cannot take her as a friend? Friendship leads to love, does it not? On what condition should he marry her if not love? How can he show her affection (like loving parents) if sura 9;23 says not to take the disbelievers as friends even if they are fathers or brothers, if they prefer disbelief? Where should this affection come from then? I also don't understand the medicine ecample: medicine is for the sick only inorder to become healthy again. How should this relate to marriage? Getting married is not because of a sickness. You also say that taking disbelievers as friend is not limited to war. Please explain how disbelievers can be married then? What are the conditions? This is confusing me a lot!
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
We will answer your questions in the following points:
First Point: The fact that the People of the Book have a divine religion is true. Moosa (Moses) 
was sent by Allah and his Book was the Torah. ‘Eesa (Jesus) was a Messenger from Allah, and Allah revealed to him the Gospel. There are many Quranic verses in this regard. Therefore, their religions is heavenly from the point of view of origin, but the legislation of Islam abrogated them so they became void.
Allah Says (what means):
· {And We have revealed to you, [O Muhammad], the Book in truth, confirming that which preceded it of the Scripture and as a criterion over it.} [Quran 5:48]
· {And whoever desires other than Islam as religion - never will it be accepted from him, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.} [Quran 3:85]
Moreover, Abu Hurayrah 
narrated that the Prophet said: “I swear by Him in Whose Hand my soul is, there is no Jew or Christian who hears about me and then dies without believing in what I was sent with, except that he will be amongst the people of Hellfire.” [Muslim]
Second Point: The following sentence which we mentioned: “If the Muslims have the upper hand.”; we stated in the context of speaking about the wisdom of the permissibility for a Muslim man marrying a woman from the People of the Book, and that if the husband is a Muslim, then Islam has the upper hand in the family because the husband is the protector and guardian of his wife, and he generally influences her, and it is, therefore, hoped that he will encourage her to embrace Islam.
It is for this reason that Islam forbade a non-Muslim man from marrying a Muslim woman regardless of the religion that he is following, because it is feared that he might be a cause for her disbelief.
Third Point: It is not necessary in order for the marriage between a Muslim man and a wife from the People of the Book to continue that she leaves her religion and embraces Islam. If we presume that she did not embrace Islam, the bond of marriage between her and her husband will continue to be valid until they separate by divorce or death.
Fourth Point: You mentioned that marriage is only possible if a person accepts the other party fully; this is not correct. A Muslim man may marry a Muslim woman for some considerations and tolerate some other shortcomings in her. This is why the Prophet said in the narration on the authority of Abu Hurayrah : “A believing man should not hate a believing woman (wife); if he hates one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” [Muslim]
Also, it was reported that a woman whose husband asked her whether or not she hates him, and she replied: ‘Yes’; so ‘Umar said to her: “Not all homes are founded on love, but rather (some are founded) on honorable lineage and Islam.” This was reported by Al-Muttaqi Al-Hindi in his book Kinz Al-‘Ummaal.
Fifth Point: The Muslim man's love of his wife from the People of the Book because she is his wife does not contradict hating her for the disbelief that she is upon. The same thing applies to a son who loves his non-Muslim parents. The love here is for one reason, the hate is for another reason. The scholars say: “If the reasons are different (and various in nature), then there is no contradiction.” [End of quote]
Sixth Point: The prohibition of marrying non-Muslims other than women of the People of the Book has nothing to do with war; the reason is disbelief. In principle, it is forbidden to marry non-Muslim women, but there is permission to marry the women of the People of the Book for the considerations that we have already referred to; i.e. that the Sharee’ah took into consideration significant benefits as mentioned in the statement of Al-Kasaani in the Fatwa that you have referred to in your question [i.e. no 384922].
Finally, we do not know what you mean by the conditions; if you mean the conditions of marrying a non-Muslim woman, then there are two conditions:
1- She must be upon a divine religion; i.e. she must be a Christian or a Jew.
2- She must be chaste, and not a fornicator (or an adulterer). Allah Says (what means): {…and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you.} [Quran 5:5]
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 395743, 383995, 333871, and 329059.
Allah knows best.