Dutifulness towards apostate parent
30-8-2016 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalaamu alaykum. If a muslim mother converted to another faith and she is not a muslim anymore and announces that to people, does she still have the right of obedience on her children? I know that if she is from the people of the Book, she will remain their mother, but I heard Ibn Uthaymeen say that one does not have any rights after apostasy. If this mother has an adult son, can he hug, kiss, or touch her, or does he have to deal with her as a non-Mahram (permanently unmarriageable kin)? Please give me evidences and details about the ruling concerning this woman's rights upon her children as soon as possible. May Allaah reward you.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
We could not find any statement of the early scholars underlining the rights of the parent who apostates. However, their view is general; that disbelief (Kufr) does not cancel the rights of the parent concerning their children being kind and dutiful to him and keeping good company with them in reasonable terms, as evidenced by the Quranic verse and other Islamic texts.
Bareeqah Mahmoodiyyah reads, "Disbelief does not make it permissible to sever the ties with the parents. Faydh al-Qadeer (authored by Al-Munaawi) quoted Ar-Raazi, as saying regarding the interpretation of the saying of Allaah (which means): {And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment.} [Quran 17:23]: 'It is not a condition to be a Muslim, because the ruling applies to the description of being parents, even if they are non-Muslims.'"
As for the contemporary scholars, they held different opinions in this regard. Some of them held the view that apostasy waives the rights of parents over their children because the apostate should not be approved of his apostasy; rather, he is called to repent and is given time to do so; then either he repents or he is killed, unlike the person who is originally a non-Muslim. Other scholars held the opinion that the enjoined dutifulness to the parents is not conditioned to their Islam and that there is no difference between one kind of disbelief and another (i.e. between someone who is originally a non-Muslim and someone who apostates).
Shaykh Ibn Baaz 
was asked about the father who does not observe the obligatory prayer. He replied:
"Verily, the parent has a great right over their children, whether it is the mother or the father. It is incumbent on the children to advise their parent kindly and treat him/her politely, even if he/she forsakes the prayer or he/she is a disbeliever by any kind of disbelief. They should be patient with him/her and persist in advising and guiding him/her and not desert him/her, as it is not permissible to desert him/her. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance].} [Quran 31:15]. Allaah commanded the children to show dutifulness and kindness towards their parents but forbade obeying them in what is prohibited or in disbelief. There is no doubt that abandoning the obligatory prayer is an act of disbelief that takes the doer out of the fold of Islam according to the most preponderant opinion among the two scholarly views in this regard."
Although Shaykh Ibn Baaz held that abandoning the obligatory prayer takes the doer out of the fold of Islam and such a person is subject to the provisions pertinent to the disbelievers in the worldly life, even if his disbelief is not declared by a Sharee'ah court, he underlined that the son is obliged to show dutifulness towards his parent who abandons the prayer and that it is prohibited to sever ties with him. This indicates that he sees that it is incumbent on the children to show dutifulness towards their parents who apostate and that it is prohibited to forsake them.
As for the Mahram state between the mother who apostated and her son, then this Mahram state is not affected by the difference of religion. Al-Kaasaani wrote in Al-Badaa’i’, "The Mahram is the one permanently prohibited from marrying, either due to blood relationship, breastfeeding, or marriage relationship ... and this is whether he is a Muslim, a Thimmi (Jew or Christian living under the care of the Muslim state), or a polytheist..." [Al-Badaa'i']
Ibn Qudaamah wrote in Ash-Sharh al-Kabeer:
"Ahmad (ibn Hanbal) said about a Jew or a Christian man whose daughter embraced Islam, 'He does not travel with her as he is not considered a Mahram for her in travel. However, she is not obliged to observe the hijab before him. This is evidenced by the fact that Abu Sufyaan came to Al-Madeenah before his conversion to Islam and visited his daughter Umm Habeebah. When he wanted to sit on the bed of the Prophet 
she folded it up and did not allow him to sit on it. She did not observe the hijab before him, nor did the Prophet command her to do so."
Thus, the son is a Mahram for his mother who is an apostate; he should not treat her as a non-Mahram in terms of looking at her, being alone with her, and the like.
Allaah knows best.