Is commanding children to perform the prayer obligatory or recommended?
12-1-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
My son is seven years old. Should I wake him up for the Fajr prayer given that he suffers from urinary incontinence and bedwetting? I supplicate Allaah The Exalted to Grant me and my son recovery. He has a weak memory and cannot memorize the Quran or the supplications well. We strive to get him to memorize them but it is difficult. What is the optimal age at which a child should start going to the mosque?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and messenger.
We implore Allaah The Exalted to Grant your son recovery and Render him among the competent researching scholars.
The prayer is not an obligation upon your son yet, as the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "The pen does not record the deeds of three persons – that is, they will not be responsible for their actions …" and the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, mentioned that among them is, "… the child until the age of puberty." [Abu Daawood, An-Nasaa'i, At-Tirmithi, and Ibn Maajah]
However, parents are asked to command their children to observe prayer at the age of seven. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "Command your children to pray once they are seven years old and beat them for (not performing) it once they are ten and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately." [Abu Daawood]
Scholars differed whether parents are obliged or recommended to order their children to observe prayer at the age of seven. According to the first opinion of the scholars, parents are to be considered sinful if they do not order their children to perform the obligatory prayers at the age of seven. However, according to the second opinion, they are not.
Ash-Shawkaani 
said in Nayl Al-Awtaar after citing the last mentioned Hadeeth, "This Hadeeth indicates that it is obligatory for parents to command their children to begin praying at the age of seven and to beat them for missing prayers at the age of ten."
Hanafi, Shaafi‘i, and Hanbali scholars believed that it is obligatory for parents to command their children to observe prayer at the age of seven while Maaliki scholars considered it merely recommended.
The Maaliki scholar, Al-‘Adawi said in his book, Haashiyat Al-‘Adawi, "The imperative expression in this Hadeeth denotes a recommendation and not an obligation according to the famous opinion of the scholars. If parents do not command their children to perform the prayers at the age of seven, they are not to be considered sinners as they would have been neglecting a recommended deed and not an obligation."
The parent should accompany their children to the mosque starting from the age of seven so as to train them to observe prayer and attend the congregational prayers in the mosque. As for younger children, the parent should not accompany them to the mosque unless he guarantees that they will not cause any harm or annoyance to the worshippers or violate the sanctity and sacredness of the mosque.