Cutting relations with cousin to prevent temptation

7-12-2014 | IslamWeb

Question:

Salam o Alaikum. I have a question regarding severing ties with kinship. Actually what happened was that one day my male cousin was asking me for my number. Feeling that this was just too much I tried to divert the conversation and was able to not give it to him. He became a little sad at this. But he came to know that I was not interested in him. Few months later a big issue happened. This cousin said something romantic to me and some of my family members witnessed it. I became so embarrassed and furious and decided that i will never speak to him again. Later on, he apologized to me. At first i refused to forgive him and ignored, But later I decided for sake of Allah i will forgive him and I did. But, after I forgave him, he indirectly did something similar again. At this time i was even more angry than before and decided I cant take it any more I have to let him know so I told him verbally that I am not interested in him. I decided that day i will cut off ties with him. Upon this, I think he became very angry and hurt and i guess embarrassed because of rejection. In the beginning I tried so hard to remain silent and let him know indirectly Im not interested but he provoked me that day that I had to say it to him. Few months later my family member said it would be nice if you message him fix things. So i gave it long thought and messaged him. But he is continuously ignoring me. I think it is because he is angry and is thinking that i am cruel and heartless and have no care of his feelings. So my question is what am I to do? Should i also cut ties with him because he does not wish to ever speak to me because he is hurt and angry. I know it is big sin to break ties with family but in my case, if i ever message him he thinks it is out of pity and this angers him more? Please advise me. Should I just continue to ignore him? What if you have a reason to sever ties? Is it okay then? Jazak Allah

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

What your cousin did in terms of speaking to you and to others about being interested in you and asking you for your phone number is not correct in Islam and it is a gateway to temptation. Indeed you did well by deterring him and not speaking to him in order to prevent evil from taking place.

Therefore, do not be concerned about him becoming sad and angry, as there is no sin on you in this nor is there any severing of kinship.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 10463 and 89435.

Allaah Knows best.