A wife is entitled to have a separate accommodation
4-6-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
Asslam.o.alaikum. I married two years ago .my husband was aware of the fact that i want to live abroad and he said he will do so.i have a daughter mashaAllah. Ive been,very depressed while living with in laws.i,asked my husband many times for a separate accomodation as i want no interference,in my life.with the start of this year fights started between me n,my husband.my mother always scolded me for not being dominant,still i was happy.i told my husband that my mom scolds me .i was so stressed out.i had depression as i felt neglected by husbAnd.i left his home as i was tired of his parents behaviour and he never said his parents are wrong.one month later my hubsnad came,to meet,us.i was living with my mother.he wished if we go back.i said ill come back after i recover from depression.my daughter got ill,husband called me up that he is coming to pick me up.i said,no.when will she recover then come.its not good for a sick baby to travel for 4 hours.he,stopped talking to me.2 days later i said ok come.till then to 2 month laters he never picked up my call nor replied to my messages.now i told,him after his exam,was over that,i want to come back.his father askd,my father that i shouldnt come.and my hsband told my family that i used to say mom scolds,me.and i said,ill commit suicide...i feel so lonely niw.as he dint keep my secrets.please help me.i dont want,my daughter to Live without faher but he is,making it,difficult,for me..please help
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and messenger.
We advise you to seek reconciliation and ask wise family members from among your relatives to sit together and investigate the issue in order to set the grounds for reaching a solution for your problem for the sake of attaining marital stability in the future. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them - and settlement is best. And present in [human] souls is stinginess. But if you do good and fear Allaah - then indeed Allaah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted.} [Quran 4:128]
We would like to point out some matters:
First, as a wife, you are entitled to have a separate accommodation for your own, even if it is rented. A wife is not obliged to live with her in-laws as per the Islamic Sharee'ah. In fact, living with the husband’s parents in the same house often incurs problems; therefore, husbands should pay attention to that issue. Please, refer to Fatwa 86132.
Second, one of your due rights over your husband is to live with you on a footing of kindness as enjoined by Allaah, The Exalted. We have underlined that in Fataawa 86618 and 88304.
Third, it is impermissible for a woman to leave her house without the consent of her husband. This is considered recalcitrance on her part; please, refer to Fatwa 90507. If she went out of the house without the permission of her husband for a valid and legitimate reason, such as that of accommodation or the like, there is no harm in that.
Fourth, if the husband asks his wife to go back to the marital house, it is incumbent on her to obey him because the wife is enjoined to obey her husband as long as it does not involve disobedience to Allaah. If she is prevented from obeying her husband because of a legitimate impediment, like the accommodation problem in your case or the like, there is no harm in that. In fact, spouses should reach a mutual understanding in such a case.
Fifth, your mother did wrong when she asked you to dominate your husband and so did you when you informed your husband of that. Verily, this was not in your best interest; it even incurred harm on you.
Allaah Knows best.