His wife obeys her mother rather than him
11-3-2013 | IslamWeb
Question:
i gave divorce to my wife due to disobeying me, and giving her mother preference over me by listening to her and do as she pleases, and she doesn't sleep with me on her command for several months because her mother doesn't want me to live in the accommodation we jointly hold. i gave her written divorce 2 months back, and now i want to reconcile but my wife does not agree and says she dont want me in her life back. please i need your guidance, this is really a trouble some situation for me. do i have any rights over her? can i take her back ? what to do? shall i leave her at faith? i love my wife but she has no interest in me as i have failed to provide her with the luxury she desired. and her mother's involvement is unbearable. i need to have the answer.. i want to ruju but wife disagrees. and does not meet me.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
It is incumbent upon the wife to give her mother and husband the right she/he deserves. She should not neglect anyone of them on the account of the other as long as giving both their rights is possible. If a discrepancy occurred between the rights of the husband and those of the mother, then the rights of the husband would be given precedence over the rights of the mother and obedience to the husband would be more obligatory as scholars have stated. Shaykh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah 
said: "When a woman gets married, her husband has more authority over her than her parents, and obedience to her husband is more obligatory upon her."
Likewise, it is not permissible for the wife to refuse the call of her husband to bed nor abandon him without any legitimate excuse. If she does that, then she is Naashiz (recalcitrant). The Noble Quran has explained clearly the way of treating the recalcitrance of the wife. Kindly, refer to Fatwa 85402 from which you will realize that divorce is not the first solution and that there are steps to be taken first before it.
On the other hand, if you have not divorced your wife thrice already and her ‘Iddah (waiting period) has not expired yet, then you can take her back even without her consent. So, try hard to convince her to go back to her marital home. If she refuses, you may refuse to divorce her until she gives you compensation. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 82541, 89039 and 89894.
Finally, we would like to draw your attention to the following two important matters:
Firstly, the danger of the interference of the mother in the marital life of her daughter and inciting her against her husband. If there is no valid reason for that, then it is one of the elements of corruption. It was narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "Anyone who incites a woman against her husband is not one of us." [Abu Daawood]
Secondly, if the mentioned house is owned by both parties, then it is not permissible for either of them to possess it alone and prevent the other from benefitting from it.
Allaah Knows best.