Engaged to his cousin but wants to marry a Christian woman willing to convert
18-2-2013 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu, I am a Muslim dentist. I got a job in Saudi Arabia as a dentist and migrated here. I got engaged to my cousin(my father's sister's daughter) whose parents had been pursuing me for almost a year. I am supposed to get married to this girl after 3 months. All my life, I have seen her as my sister and I could not develop the feelings for her as a future husband. I am not sure what was I thinking when accepting the proposal for marriage. Here in Saudi, I have a nurse working with me who is a Christian and we both like each other. We only speak to each other and nothing more than that. She is ready to get converted and marry me. I also want to marry her. I am scared that my parents won't agree to this. I don't know how to go about my situation as I know my parents will be against this. I want to marry this girl and with my parent's blessings. I am not able to concentrate on anything. Plus, I do not want the nurse to be left alone when she is converted to Muslim lest I fear that I should not marry her. She is willing to leave her parents and convert and also marry me. She also says that she doesn't want our children to know that she was a Christian. I had a doubt whether she wants to get converted for my sake and not for Allah. But she says she was a devout Christian and chaste and that she is getting signs that she embrace Islam and I am a means to embrace Islam. Please advise me regarding this in the light of Islam.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
Your cousin is marriageable to you and it is permissible for you to marry her. Feeling that she is like your sister does not make her prohibited for you. So, if she is religiously committed and of a good moral character and you can marry her, then this will be good for you and will achieve the wish of her parents and yours; for your words imply that your parents too want you to marry her. Also, Allaah The Almighty may bless that marriage for you. As for what you feel, it may vanish after marrying her by the permission of Allaah The Almighty.
If you predominantly think that there will be no love and affection between you and her after marriage, then it is better to cancel your engagement to her and try to please your parents and hers regarding that. There is no harm in canceling the engagement if there is a need for that. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 82215.
As for the Christian woman, we advise you to beware of committing something Allaah The Almighty prohibited with her. Also, speaking to her is not permissible unless there is a need and according to that need. If you go beyond that, this may lead to temptation and thus beware of that. Her conversion to Islam is something good and we hope it comes true. However, we advise you to entrust this matter to some trustworthy women to tell her about the truth of Islam and encourage her to enter Islam. You should not link her conversion to Islam with marrying her. For more benefit, kindly refer to Fatwa 105117.
Anyway, if that Christian woman converts to Islam and you would like to marry her after embracing Islam, then try to convince your parents to agree to that and do your best in that effect. If they agree, then all praise be to Allaah, but if they insist on rejecting and they have a legitimate excuse, then you have to obey them, otherwise it is permissible for you to marry her, even without their consent. Nevertheless, if you prefer to comply with their opinion, then it is really more appropriate and Allaah may grant you guidance and success due to that and He may grant you a pious woman who will make you happy. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 87553.
Allaah Knows best.