Her non-religious uncle refuses to marry her off to a religious man
22-7-2011 | IslamWeb
Question:
Salam alaikum. Shaykh, I have a problem. So sorry for a lengthy question in advance. A wife of my close friend, introduced to me one sister. I have seen her, when she was with her brother. We liked each other. When this sister born, her parents give her to the family of her father's brother, because that family didn't have their own child. She knew that when she became 15 years old, now she 23. In her real family, her real father died, her mother (real one) is practising moslem. However this uncle which raised her obviously against Islaam. He is not praying, neither fasting. He mocks hijab of this sister, and say: If you would uncover your head I would give you in a marriage. Back to my problem, in accordace to our local traditions. I first send my family members from women to their house, for meeting. They talked with woman who raised that sister (woman I mean wife of her uncle, that raised her). She agreed with marriage issues, said that she wants happiness of this sister and etc. Most likely her uncle (the one who raised her as his own girl) asked about me, and he was said that I am wahabi. Here that's something scare full for people. It is enough to have a beard here in Azerbaijan, to be called wahabi. So when my family members talk with him about marriage, he said: I wouldn't give my daughter to man who is working as technician. That was some sort of reason, that he found. I am working as a technician in Oil company. My salary is about 1000 $ per month, and average monthly salary in Azerbaijan to be reached AZN 550 (about 700 $). I mean I am earning more than average. Her uncle also said: I am afraid that he (I am) would be fired (from job) and couldn't earn money. Is it permitted to me ask that sister to go to the house of her real parents, and ask her real mother and real brother (he is about 15 years old) to give her in a marriage to me? That mother already knows me, and she agreed with her choice.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
The fact that the paternal uncle of that girl has raised her does not give him the right to guardianship over her, and the sequence of guardians has been stated by the Islamic jurists, and we have previously clarified it in Fatwa 90375. Hence, the brother is given priority over the paternal uncle as regards guardianship. So, if there is no one closer to this girl other than her brother, it is he who should be her guardian to give her in marriage; and he is considered to have attained puberty when he becomes fifteen years old, even if the signs of puberty have not yet appeared on him. For further information about the signs of puberty, please refer to Fatwa 83431.
On the other hand, if the paternal uncle of that girl holds ideas that take him out the fold of Islam, then he has no right, in principle, to be a guardian over a Muslim woman, even if she were his daughter. Indeed, leaving prayer and fasting is among the major sins, and if one leaves them out of denying them, he would be considered as a disbeliever by consensus of Muslims.
However, you should supplicate Allaah for him to repent and be guided to the straight path, and do your best to advise him and clarify to him the truth in a gentle manner, so that Allaah would bestow mercy upon him and forgive him.
Finally, the following two matters should be mentioned:
First: it is religion and good moral character that count in the competence for marriage, as has previously been clarified in Fatwa 88093.
Second: the mother has no right to guardianship to give her daughter in marriage; because among the conditions of guardianship in marriage is that the guardian must be a man.
Allaah Knows best.