Wants to propose marriage to a girl whose guardian is not around
25-3-2010 | IslamWeb
Question:
AsalamoAlikum I request brothers to answer me on this and not refer me to answer to similar questions. There happens to be a female who is known to my family for years .She spent her life with people who adopted her and they have no other child. Recently my mother told me that she is non mahram to my distant uncle who adopted her. This uncle of mine passed away and now she and the aunt(wife of my uncle) live alone without any male in their home. My mother also told me that sometime around last year a proposal was sent to her by some people and she(my mother) is not sure whether they have accepted or rejected her. Quite a time has lapsed and there is not indication from this family that whether they have accepted or not. Is it allowed for me to send a proposal to her given that she was brought up by my uncle who was not mahram to her and given the information about her proposal I mentioned above? Nowadays society around me does not follow sharia properly. I have religious goals and need someone from society to understand my way of life and help me achieve those goals.I feel that above mentioned female would be willing to change completely for Allah if shown clearer picture of Islam and clarified about purpose of life. Is it allowed for me to communicate to her directly*(e.g. email, facebook) since I feel that it would be difficult to make things clearer about my way of life and goals through others who do not understand true Islam properly. In this case, who would the person ask if the girl agrees. She lives with her non real mother alone and her non real father has passed away. Her real parents are in different city and I do not know how much she is connected to them. It would be easy for me if I could talk to her directly about her consent but still I need clarification on after affairs if she agrees. *kindly take into account that talking directly would require several replies from both ends if done via email or facebook Jazak Allah
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, it should be noted that adoption is forbidden and we have already clarified this in Fatwa 82371. It is not permissible for this girl to be traced back to other than her real father. Allaah Says (what means): {Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah.}[Quran 33:5] It is her real father who should be her guardian in marrying her off and she should be introduced to her real parents so that she could fulfill her duty of being good and kind to them.
If a person proposes to a woman and each one of them likes the other, then it becomes forbidden for another man to propose to her. However, if the first man who proposed to her is rejected or that he gives permission (for the second man to propose to her) or that the matter is not known, then, in this case, it becomes permissible for the second man to propose to her as stated by the jurists 
.
However, it is better to make sure whether or not the engagement was accepted, if this is possible.
As regards sending messages to this girl or talking to her through the internet or any other means, then this is not permissible even if this is with the intention of making Da’wah to her (calling her to Allaah) and showing her the right path. This is because such contacts are a means of temptation and it is an obligation upon the Muslim to avoid all means that may lead to temptation.
Your intention of willing to rectify her could be done by seeking the help of some pious women to do this, and this is better in order to be safe regarding your religion. For more benefit on the dangers of chatting through the Internet, please refer to Fataawa 84874 and 132000.
It should be noted that if a Muslim man wants to marry, he should look for a righteous woman, but marrying a woman who is not righteous on the pretext that he will rectify her afterwards, then there is a risk in this as she might influence him and spoil him instead of him influencing her and rectifying her.
Allaah Knows best.