Saying "Assalaamu ‘Alayk" when greeting a Muslim male or female

8-2-2010 | IslamWeb

Question:

As salaamu alaikum, Almost every muslim that I have ever met says "as salaamu alaikum" when greeting one muslim. However, someone told me that the greeting should change depending on who is being spoken to - "as salaamu alaika" for one man, "as salaamu alaiki" for one woman, "as salaamu alaik" for either one man or one woman, and "as salaamu alaikum" only when more than one person is being greeted. Does this agree with the sunnah? I understand that this makes sense due to the arabic language, but did the prophet greet people in this manner? Which manner is correct - saying "as salaamu alaikum" in every situation, or alternating the salaam as I mentioned above? Jazakallahu khair for your response

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

 

It is permissible to greet one person, male or female, with the wording “Assalaamu Alayk”, and this is mentioned several times in the Sunnah, but you have to say “Assalaamu ‘Alayka” when addressing a male and “Assalaamu ‘Alayki” when addressing a female [as per the Arabic language grammar].

However, it is better to use the plural form of greeting [i.e. Assalaamu ‘Alaykum] even if you are greeting one person only. Ibn Muflih quoted An-Nawawi as saying: “It is desirable for the person starting the greeting to say: “Assalaamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuhu”, greeting in the plural form even if there is only one person greeted, and the person who answers the greeting should say: “Wa ‘Alaykum Assalaam wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuhu”.

Nevertheless, it is acceptable to say “Assalaamu ‘Alayk” when addressing a male or a female.

Finally, it should be noted that it is disliked for a Muslim man to greet a girl with Salaam if she is not his wife or his female Mahram, and it is also disliked for her to respond to him, and it is also disliked for her to greet him with Salaam and for him to respond to her with Salaam, as this is a means of temptation (for both of them) as stated by the jurists .

Allaah Knows best.