All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
We have already clarified in Fataawa 91942 and 88658 that if a marriage contract is concluded between a woman and a man, they become husband and wife and he is permitted to do with her what a husband is permitted to do with his wife, but he should take into account the customs, if any, in delaying that (i.e. the consummation of marriage until the wedding).
However, the best solution is that you should try to convince your husband to hurry up with the consummation of the marriage and if the consummation of the marriage is not done, then you should show your parents and the parents of your husband some of the Fataawa [including this one] which clarify to them that you and him are husband and wife even if your husband has not consummated the marriage with you. Also, some pious people of knowledge may clarify this to them.
Furthermore, your husband should know that you and your parents have the right to prevent him from enjoying you until he pays the dowry.
Any way, it is with wisdom and good reasoning that one may combine between obeying everyone and acting according to what does not contradict the customs and the noble Sharee’ah.
Allaah Knows best.