Her husband and his mother behave very badly towards her
8-11-2009 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am 4 years married women, age 30. I did my MBA and doing job with good salary. My problem is that from the second day of my marriage my husband started saying me that he does not like me because I am not beautiful, attractive and tall. He looks upset and whenever I tried to talk to him in diferent ways he wanted to make me understand to leave him and to take all the responsibilities on my shoulder. He and his mother behaved with very badly, never loved me, honoured me, and always says negative things to others about me which was false. He says me he wants to marry a beautiful girl and it is only possible if I left him. He made me realize by telling every girl has some or the other beauty but i have nothing and ugliest girl of this world. But he continues physical relation and happy with that. He never support me, cares for me, in front people always belittle me but he says that I know you cannot live without me. In front of me he watch nude pic in internet, ladies outside, praise ladies working in his office and also has one side infatuation, He never take to parties of of his friend and office. He feels shame. It was arrange marriage and he himself chosen me. even when I am sick also he never turns to me. He said almost all bad words about my body and face. His mother also doing the same.
I just want to know do Allah punish this people for their deed, Istarted loosing my faith.
Again it is true I love my Allah very much but when I see these people happy even after doing so many bad things it upsets me.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If the mistreatment that you mentioned in the question about your husband is true, then he is an ill-mannered husband. This contradicts the order of Allaah, Allaah Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them — perhaps you dislike a thing and Allaah makes therein much good.}[Quran 4:19] This verse strengthens what is mentioned in a Hadeeth in which the Prophet said: “A believing man should not hate a believing woman (i.e. his wife), if he hates one of her characters, he will be pleased with another.” [Muslim] If this is in regard to the moral conduct that could be acquired, then what about a physical appearance upon which a person is created and he can do nothing about it.
However, it is not strange that a husband is not pleased with a woman, but it is strange to take this as a means to rebuke her. As a result of this, he mistreats her and humiliates her in front of other people and so forth. If he wants to marry a second wife and he is able to be just between them, then he may do so but he should not talk about this problem in order to embarrass and harm his wife. Moreover, the fact that he sees nude pictures and looks at women outside is also among evil acts. If he does so in front of his wife in order to humiliate her, then this is even a greater evil. Besides, this is committing sins openly, and it is confirmed that the Prophet said: “All my Ummah [nation] is pardoned [by Allaah] [for what they commit] except those who sin openly.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 90578.
As regards him not taking you with him to his friends’ parties and parties at his work place, then if these parties are mixed and they include prohibitions like music and the like, then not attending such parties is a blessing for which you should thank Allaah. However, if these parties are free from such prohibitions, then he should take you to them.
Moreover, he is obliged to spend on you, and if he does not do so and he has money, then it becomes permissible for you to take from his money according to your need even without his knowledge. If he is in financial difficulties or is rich and you are not able to take from his money, then you have the right to take the matter to an Islamic court so that the judge would oblige him to spend on you or to divorce you if you want him to do so.
Therefore, we advise you to be patient with him and advise him about this matter and it is good if you appoint some rational and wise people from your family and his, then if the matter is solved, all the best, otherwise you have the right to ask for divorce in order to repel the harm off yourself.
This is in regard to your husband, as regards his mother, if the matter is as you mentioned, that she humiliates you and harms you, then she is also wrong because friendship and affection should prevail between the in-laws. So, you should be patient with her as well, and advise her.
We advise you to turn to Allaah to make a way for you to get out (from difficulty) and you should be keen on obeying your Lord and keeping company with pious Muslim sisters so that they will help you in your matters. In this way, you may achieve happiness despite the problems that you experience.
On the other hand, how do you know that your husband and his mother are happy? Indeed, the reality could be different from what it might appear to you.
As regards the punishment for these things that they commit, then they deserve the punishment for this; Allaah Says (what means): {And those who harm believing men and believing women for [something] other than what they have earned [i.e. deserved] have certainly born upon themselves a slander and manifest sin.}[Quran 33:58]
However, we cannot authoritatively assert that they will be punished for this, because they might repent to Allaah and Allaah might forgive them without them repenting. Allaah does not forgive someone if he associates with Him partners but He forgives all other sins for whomever He wishes.
On the other hand, if Allaah wishes to punish them, He may punish them in this worldly life and he may punish them in the Hereafter, and he may punish them both in this life and in the Hereafter.
In any case, the injustice that is done to you is not will not go unpunished, because no one will enter Paradise until he pays for his injustice as confirmed in religious texts.
Allaah Knows best.