He and his loving wife often quarrel over simple matters
5-8-2009 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalamu 'Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah.
Iam having problems with my wife. She Alhamdulillah a loving wife. But Allah' A'lam we quarrel often. I ask her to pray on time ( just 30-40 mins after athan and to recite qur'an. but she says it is not easy for her to do so as she has to take care of our kids (Alhamdulillah Allah bless us with 2 kids 2 years and the other one 5 months). we love each other but there is always shouting between us. we are tying to follow the deen as much as we can.. she started to wear niqab. i never like she to use half sleeve dresses even at home. but she is wearing such things at home.Sometimes I use bad words at her when quarrelling happens. Later I ask aopology also. But Iwasnt like this before marriage.please advice us to lead a life which benefit here and hereafter.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
You should thank Allaah The Almighty that He has granted you a wife with such good qualities and that you love one another. You should thank Allaah The Almighty for these blessings by trying to preserve them. In fact, the best thing that can be done to preserve these blessings is that each of the spouses knows his/her duties towards the other and fulfills them perfectly, and that both give up some of their rights in order to maintain affection between them and keep the integrity of the family. For further information about the rights and duties of the spouses, see Fataawa 85308 and 83157.
On the other hand, there should be no quarreling between you, especially that nothing in what you have mentioned necessitates it. As for prayer, as long as your wife does not wait until the time of the prayer expires, it is permissible for her to delay it (see Fataawa 84538 and 82907). But, if she waits until the due time of the prayer expires, you should advise her gently and kindly. Besides, reading the Quran is likeable and involves much goodness, yet you should not force your wife in this regard or make it a point of dispute. If taking care of her two children keeps her so busy that she can not read Quran, you may suggest that she listens to the Quran instead of reading it.
Furthermore, you should know that a wife is allowed to display her adornment to her husband, so wearing short-sleeved clothes is not a matter that should be rejected and it should not be a reason for quarrels. We advise you to tolerate this matter and allow her to wear these clothes, particularly since wearing long-sleeved clothes at home may be difficult for her. For further information, see Fatwa 83541. If you are unwilling to tolerate this, she has to obey you since the wife has to obey her husband in matters which do not involve disobedience to Allaah The Almighty.
Allaah Knows best.