Her mother-in-law wants to break up her marriage

8-7-2009 | IslamWeb

Question:

salam!
My mother in law had objections on our marraige but still it was arranged, i had to wait 3 years after Nikkah.. for Rukhsati, so that my husband would convince his mother. but she did not agree at any cost and was persistant to divorce me. situation got worst, as i had aslo pressure form my family, but i did not leave my husband and remained patient. Now 6 months have passed of our marriage, but my husband is living and sleeping with his mother, because she did not allow him to sleep with me. i tried my level best to convince my husband but he says that i know "you are not wrong but i cant leave my mother alone" she has 5 sosns who lives around her house. But she is intentionally doing this. i am really very much upset as i sleep alone.....at nights. please tell me that what to do in this situation? as she still want that my husband will divorce me. i am pregnant and i want to live with my husband but she doec not allow him.. even after marraige i am living with my parents... i did job after marraige to bear all my expenses, i am fully cooperating with my husband but... this situation is making our life poisonous.. as my husband knowsonly to make his mother happy at any cost,and he has no regards of my basic rights when his mother does not willing. My husband gives me example of Hazrat ibrahim (a.s) that he did seconed marraige just beacuse his first wife Hazrat AMMARAH was not much caring of his parants.i am unable to understand this example... on my perspective.please ellaborate it for me.and guide me in the light of QURAN AND SUNNAH.
Many regards

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

First of all, the son should have accepted the wish of his mother by not marrying you, because obedience to the mother in such a case is an obligation. However, since the marriage had already taken place, then it is not permissible for the mother to ask her son to divorce you unless she has a sound reason for doing so.

Furthermore, your husband is not obliged to obey her and this is not severing ties with kinship, because her ordering him to harm you is a disobedience to Allaah and there is no obedience to a creature in disobeying the Creator. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84942.

Moreover, it is not permissible for the mother to ask her son not to spend the night with his wife and it is not permissible for him to obey her in this regard because this contradicts having good marital relationships and this causes harm whereas the husband is forbidden from harming his wife.

According to the most preponderant opinion of the scholars  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them a husband is obliged to spend the night with his wife according to being affectionate with her and so that the harm of her feeling lonely is removed.

Similarly, the husband is obliged to spend on his wife and provide her with food, drink, clothing and a suitable accommodation, and the wife is not obliged to provide any of these even if she is rich and well-off.

As regards proving evidence of the story of ‘Ebraaheem [Abraham]  may  Allaah  exalt  his  mention with the wife of his son Ismaa’eel [Ishmael]  may  Allaah  exalt  his  mention then there is no evidence in this. This is because the wife of Ismaa’eel did not know that this guest was the father of her husband in principle, and he did not inform her of this. Rather, he just asked her about her husband and their situation. Then, she complained to him about the lack of the means of sustenance and he knew that she was a complaining wife who was not really pleasing because she was not patient and she was not pleased with Allaah’s Decree, so he ordered his son to divorce her for this reason.

So, how can this be compared to a mother who asks her son to divorce his wife just to satisfy her own desires.

For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84056.

Allaah Knows best.

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