Doubtful marriage of a new Muslim woman
23-6-2009 | IslamWeb
Question:
Salam alaykum, I am a new muslim by my choice no one ask me to revert to islam after reading some books and understand the meaning of it i go direct to QCPI before to make Shahadah, 3 months ago i get married i know him thru a person working with him, i ask this person that i want to get married with a good muslim man who can teach me more about Islam as i am new muslim, i dont know if he is really my husband we went to the court i sign a paper infront of the Judge stating that i am agree to marry him and agree that one Muslim Sheikh in my home country will process our Marriage contract their, after 2 weeks my husband (i dont know if he is my legal husband) told me that the Marriage contract is finish and we can sleep together and live as husband and wife. my question is, Is this different way of Marriage is legal in Islam? i dont see any paper stating that i am legally married with him with 2 witnesses sign by me and him. he also dont give me Mahr he dont give me anything because he said he dont have money that time, now i have problem to him, he dont support me for anything he dont buy me food, he dont care of me even i call him when im not feeling well, i am renting my own room he dont give me anything, he told me also not to call him when he is at home because he is with his wife. and he told me also that some arab married with another girl without giving anything and see her only twice a month. he come to my room just to get sex with me when his wife have period then he leave me. and comeback again when he want sex. i am so tired thinking of this situation, when i talk to him that in islam you should be equal to your wives he simply told be patient, i dont know why he treat me like this i dont do anything bad to him, i ask him a divorce he said no need divorce because that Marriage is not register the marriage contract only from the center saying that i am his wife, please advice me, JazzakAllahu-khair.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we thank and praise Allaah Who guided you to Islam and we ask Him to make you firm and steadfast on His Religion until the Day you meet Him.
We advise you to seek beneficial knowledge, perform good deeds and befriend righteous and pious women, as these are the best things that help a Muslim woman remain steadfast on her religion.
We also thank you for being keen on marrying a pious man who would help you in your religion.
You should know that marriage in Islam has two pillars which are proposal and acceptance, and it has conditions, the most important of which are the consent of the guardian and the presence of two witnesses; for more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 83629 and 88488.
If it is not confirmed that the marriage took place fulfilling these pillars and conditions, then it is not permissible for a woman to have sexual intercourse with a man based on a doubtful marriage and just because this man said that marriage took place. The marriage is only confirmed by the testimony of two trustworthy witnesses. Therefore, we advise you to take your case to an Islamic court so that the judge would study your matter.
However, if it is confirmed that an Islamic marriage contract took place, then you became a wife of that man and you deserve what a wife deserves from him, like spending on you, dowry, accommodation, and staying overnight equally with you and his other wife. But if your husband deprives you of all or some of these rights without your renouncing them with your own will, then this is not permissible and it is not acceptable to provide evidence about this by what some people do, because these people might also be wrong, or it might be that his first wife renounced some of her rights with her own will, so there is no comparison between the two cases.
For more benefit on the obligation of being just between wives, please refer to Fataawa 86094 and 82124. Also, for more benefit on Misyaar marriage, please refer to Fatwa 82104.
On the other hand, if it is confirmed that you are his wife, you have the right to ask for divorce if you have a sound reason. As regards his statement that there is no need for divorce because the marriage contract was not registered, then this is a false statement because registering the marriage contract is not a condition for its validity. The purpose of registering the marriage contract is authenticating it in order to preserve the rights of the spouses.
Finally, it should be noted that it is not a condition for the marriage contract to be conducted in the original country of one of the spouses. If the guardian of the woman is not present, then he may deputize another Muslim man to conduct her marriage contract, and if a Muslim woman has no Muslim guardian, then the Muslim judge may marry her off.
Allaah Knows best.