Both her marriages have failed
28-4-2008 | IslamWeb
Question:
Asalam o Alaikum I am 29 years old-got married for the first time at the age of 21 to a very volatile man and had a daughter from him. My marriage lasted only for 3 years. Then after 2 yrs of being divorced I got married to another man who was also married before with a son. Although, he came across as a very honest and a mature person, but I realised when I married him that he is not a commitment man. He says things carelessly and being 46 yrs of age, acts so childish. I showed a lot of affection and love to him and was very patient but he showed no appreciation. His temperament is of a bully who just cannot be reasonable and shows not even slight patience in our relationship. I have a son with him now who is now 13 months. I am not an aggressive woman but when we did have normal day to day issues and argued like normal couples, he would always tell me to leave. I still never left my husbands home and always tried to keep our marriage together. Now he has divorced me-this has also happened over 3 different occasions-the third time now making the separation final. Can you please guide me as to why I am being faced with this test? I was so positive after my first terrible marriage and pulled myself together. Where am I going wrong? At such a young age, I have been through so much already. After my first divorce, I was desperate to settle down and have children. I am just broken now.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we ask Allaah to help you to be patient and greatly reward you. You should know that this worldly life is a test whereby Allaah tests His Slaves with good and bad, and the affliction is not necessarily due to a sin that a person has committed.
Allaah may afflict a person in order to test him, and then if this person is patient, Allaah would increase his status and wipe out his sins. Therefore, we advise you to be patient; for more benefit on the excellence of patience, please refer to Fatwa 83577.
Being anxious does not help and only worsens the situation. Instead, you should remember that Allaah might have repelled evil from you as a result of these afflictions.
We also advise you to look for a pious husband as this is Islamically permissible; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 82471.
However, you should not hasten to accept anyone who proposes to marry you unless you inquire about him from trustworthy and pious people who know him and then perform the Istikhaarah prayer; for more benefit on the Istikhaarah prayer, please refer to Fatwa 81434.
It should be noted that the third divorce makes a woman irrevocably divorced from her husband unless she marries another man [a sincere marriage and he consummates the marriage with her and then he divorces her or dies], as stated in the Quran. So, the matter of remaining married after a third divorce takes place does not depend on the husband or the wife. It seems that you already know this, but this is just a reminder.
Allaah Knows best.