Don’t marry him unless you are sure he will not sell intoxicants
18-2-2008 | IslamWeb
Question:
dear scholars, asalamu 3alaikum..im in a huge delimma and i hope u can tell/advice me on what to do..most of my family here in the west are working in liquor stores...my uncles, granpas (from mom side), my dad, its everyone i know..i want out of this...i have tried so hard to advice my dad and mom also tried with her brothers and her dad but no use...my dad has promised me so much that he would leave this and try to get a halal job but he never does, when he sees things working out in the store he changes his mind...its hopeless...my dad has read the whole quran 3 times and he understands very well what it says but its like he sees the end so far...he has little faith but big hopes that if allah wants him to leave this job then he would let him leave it..he has alot of family to support and hes been thru alot... a long time ago he watched his niece die because he didnt have money to take her to the hospital.my dad is very kind. now my cousin asked for my hand in marriage and my parents agreed, but i dont agree at all.. 1st there are heart problems in the family tree,2nd he is going to be working in a liquor store as well...he doesnt want to but im sure he will..he is kind and generous, but i want out of this life..i cant take it anymore, no matter how much i accomplish i cant seem to be happy, i feel sooooo low and useless...i have everything a girl would want but im not happy, i have this darkness and fear inside of me that i cant escape from..my cousin doesnt want papers to come to the west hes already here and if i refuse him then the only people would purpose are those who either need papers so they could come and work in such stores or those who are not religious and follow their desires into halak, and have no morals..i dont want to get married if these are the only choices i have. if i do get married to my cousin do i have to give him his rights or not? can i refuse him? i want ur help...please advice me like u would advice ur own daughter...thank you so much
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
If it is true that your family trades in intoxicants, then this is a grave major sin and one of the reasons of incurring the curse of Allaah. Indeed you did well by trying to reform your father, and we advise you to continue doing so. For more benefit on how to call your father to abide by the teachings of Islam, please refer to Fatwa 90278.
You should also advise your other relatives who trade in intoxicants.
You are not obliged to accept to marry your cousin. However, you may condition on him not to sell intoxicants or do any other forbidden job. If he accepts and you are pretty sure that he is sincere and truthful, then it might be better to accept to marry him. In this case, you should endeavour to help him reform himself and seek legal provisions.
If you do not marry him, you should not despair; rather you should endeavour to find a pious husband. In which case, you may seek the help of your trustworthy Muslim sisters or trustworthy brothers who are doing Da’wah in your country.