Very angry with his mother who manipulated his failing marriage
18-2-2008 | IslamWeb
Question:
hope someone can give advise. i got engaged almost 2 years ago under extreme pressure and manipulation from my own mother. i never consummated my marriage and saw my wife for only 2 days after my engagement in a sunni court. we both live in different countries. family interferences and disagreements took over my marriage and along the way i found out my wife to have some mental problems. today my wife has taken me to court and managed to get the court to order me to pay her monthly support. i do not live in her country and if i was to divorce her i was told i'd have to pay a huge sum of money which i don't have. i do not see how i can live with an ill shameless woman. I did not consummate the marriage and was told the penalty for divorce would be half. it is possible that she may turn out not to be a virign and in this situation i would have to pay the full penalty for divorcing her because it would be near impossible to prove it was not me she slept with. i do not have the money and i am hurting a lot. i have found myself avoiding my mother whom i take care of. she is getting pretty old and suffers from a serious heart condition. she knows she manipulted the situation to pressure me to marry against my will. she used her life threatening illness to pressure me. i have always adored my mom but today everytime i hear her voice or see her face i remember having to pay 66,000 dollars which i don't have or go to jail and lose my job and my home and everything i have. it hurts that at the end of my mom's life, my own heart has turned away from her. i know she did not mean to hurt me but the fact is she reuined my life.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
We advise you to fear Allaah and be kind and dutiful to your mother despite what happened, especially that you know that she did not mean to cause you any harm. A Muslim is required to be kind and dutiful to his parents in any case, as we mentioned in Fatwa 87019.
You were not obliged to obey your mother in marrying that woman, as we clarified in Fatwa 86982.
As regards the problem with that woman, if you conducted a correct marriage contract with her then she is your wife and you are obliged to spend on her unless she prevents you from having sexual intercourse with her or is disobedient to you.
The fact that you live in a different country than her does not wave the obligation of spending on her unless she refuses to come to you.
We advise you to take the case to an Islamic court to study the matter and oblige each one of you to fulfil his/her religious duties. If you are religiously obliged to pay the amount which you mentioned, then you should do so.
Finally, it should be mentioned that you should not doubt the chastity of your wife, as you stated: “It may be possible that she may turn out not to be a virgin...because it would be impossible to prove that it was not me she slept with.”