A Cure for Bad Manners - I

20/02/2014| IslamWeb

The Prophet, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, disregarded the rough manners of some people through his generosity, as it was narrated by Al-Miswar ibn Makhramah, may Allah be pleased with him, when he said, "The Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, distributed some cloaks, but did not give anything thereof to Makhramah ibn Nawfal (my father). Makhramah said [to me], "O son! Accompany me to the Prophet of Allah." When I went with him, he said, "Call him to me." I called him [i.e. the Prophet, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam] for my father. He came out wearing one of those cloaks and said: "We kept this [cloak] for you [Makhramah]." Makhramah looked at the cloak and said, "Makhramah is pleased," [or the Prophet said]: "Is Makhramah pleased?" [Al-Bukhari].

Thus, the Prophet, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, parried Makhramah's roughness by his, sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, own leniency and gentility, due to the fact that good morals conceal the bad.

For the same reason, the Prophet, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, instructed husbands to look at the positive traits of their wives and overlook the negative ones when he, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said: "A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another." [Muslim]

Additionally, the Prophet, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, instructed guardians to consider good manners when they are about to choose a husband for their daughters. This commandment is clear in his saying: "If there comes to you a man whose religion and manners are acceptable to you [to marry from women under your guardianship], then, let him marry [from them] otherwise, there would be temptation on earth and great corruption." [At-Tirmithi]

Moreover, by abiding with good morals, one will attain the forgiveness of Allah The Almighty on the Day of Resurrection. Huthayfah, may Allah be pleased with him, said,
A person met his Lord [after death] and He said: "What [good] did you do?" He [the man] said, "I did no good except this, that I was a rich man, and I demanded from the people [the repayment of debts that I advanced to them]. I, however, accepted that which the solvent gave and remitted [the debt] of the insolvent." Whereupon He [the Lord] said: "I am more worthy of this. You [the angels] should ignore [the faults] of My servant". 'Uqbah Ibn 'Amir Al-Juhani and Abu Mas'ood Al-Ansaari, may Allah be pleased with them, said, “This is what we heard the Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, say.” [Muslim]

The comprehensive wisdom of Allah The Almighty demanded a distinction between high moral standards and low ones, so as to manifest the beauty of the former and the ugliness of the latter. To clarify this idea, one should know that things are valued by comparing them with their opposites. For example, without darkness, the value of light will be underestimated; without the different kinds of diseases and calamities, the value of good health and safety will not be recognized; and without the creation of Satan, the personal inclination, and the soul which constantly urges for evil, the warships of patience and striving for Allah The Almighty will not deserve to be rewarded by Jannah (Paradise).

Consequently, by looking at the good and the bad manners, one will be able to identify this contradiction. For instance, when meditating on some of the good manners, like truthfulness, honesty, devotion, altruism, generosity, chastity, the suppression of anger, humility, justice, and sincerity, and many others, we clearly notice their beauty when they are compared to their opposites like lying, hypocrisy, treachery, disloyalty, miserliness, duplicity, arrogance, haughtiness, ostentation, envy, greed, and injustice, and so on. Thus, just as good manners are means for salvation and happiness, bad manners lead to loss and destruction in this world and the Hereafter. In summary, compliance with good manners and adherence to them is imperative for all.

… To be continued