A child’s need for friends

27/10/2013| IslamWeb

A child’s need for friends of the same age to play and interact with actually does not appear before the end of the fourth year or the beginning of the fifth year.

Before that, the child likes to play alone or with adults. When he reaches the middle of the fourth year, his inclination to have playmates begins to appear. A child at this age does not play with his friends but he only shares the same place or room with them. In fact, the child at this age wants to play with his own toys and does not like other children to share them with him.

That is because a child at this age is still selfish and self-centered.

This means that the child’s social tendencies are still latent and will appear in later developmental stages. Moreover, this group of children may break up at any moment for any trivial reason.

When a child reaches the age of five, he starts showing a compelling need to play with other children sometimes, along with tendencies to play alone at other times.

During this shift from individuality to sociability, the child satisfies his need of having friends gradually, namely, a child starts playing with one or two children under parental guidance to guide him to the correct principles of cooperation.

His circle of friends becomes wider as the child grows up.

 

The benefits of companionship and mixing with children:

Companionship plays an important role in a child’s social and moral growth because it teaches him to give and take. The child also learns how to adjust himself to others. When your child attacks another child, the other child will attack him and if his playmate gave him his toy, he will expect him to do the same soon.

Of course, this gives a child many necessary experiences that accustom him to showing patience and to be strong and unselfish.

Friendship among children of the same age is beneficial for all of them at this early stage, because it teaches them cooperation and makes them feel that they are a team.

Likewise, friendship with older children is beneficial, because the older child feels that he guards his younger playmates. On the other hand, the younger child learns from his older playmates and imitates them.

Nevertheless, the child who always plays with older children will be subordinate and suffer from suppression.

On the other hand, the child who always plays with younger children will force them to do what he wants all the time. Of course, this is unfavorable, because it may accustom the child to assuming that he must be the leader when dealing with others without any actual effort to deserve this role.

We often face difficulty in finding proper mates and peers for our child with whom he could play. In such a case, the role of the school or the nursery emerges.

In the school or nursery, the child knows a certain group of children and establishes a strong and durable relationship with them that goes beyond playing. This relationship includes interaction and being together throughout the school day. Therefore, children benefit from the groups of the school or nursery more than they benefit from their groups of friends whom they meet in public parks for example. That is because the latter groups change from day to day.