Questions on Islamic Upbringing of Children

21/12/2014| IslamWeb

In some kindergarten schools, boys and girls at the age of five or six are taught together. What is the age at which coeducation is allowed? Teachers at this stage are mostly females who teach both boys and girls. What is your opinion about that? What is the age of male students that a female teacher is allowed to teach?

I think this should be referred to the Committee of Senior Scholars to study it because this may open the door to free intermixing between the sexes in the future. Mixed gatherings of children are in principle permissible, but I fear that these are schemes formulated as steps towards graver matters. This is what I see and Allah knows best. Thus, the affairs of these schools should be referred to the Committee of Senior Scholars to study them or to the concerned authorities which are able to prevent intermixing after school.

 

There are some schools where boys are separated from girls, but the teachers are females. What is the age of male students that a woman is allowed to teach? The answer is as I said before that anything that aims at free intermixing between the sexes must be prevented no matter how important it is.

 

Questions related to children’s clothing

 

There are many types of children’s clothing that contain pictures of creatures with a soul, and some of them are disrespected, such as footwear and underwear of children below three years of age. What is the ruling on such clothing?

 

Scholars hold that it is prohibited to clothe a child in clothing which is prohibited for adults. Clothes which contain pictures are prohibited for adults to wear; likewise, they are prohibited to give them to the young. Muslims should boycott these clothes and shoes lest evil and corruption come to us. If these clothes and shoes are boycotted, manufacturers will stop exporting them to our countries.  

 

Is it permissible for boys to wear materials which are unique for girls, such as gold and silk or vice versa?

 

This can be understood from the previous question. I said that scholars hold that it is prohibited to clothe a child in clothing that is prohibited for adults. Therefore, it is prohibited to clothe a boy in items which are unique for the girls and vice versa.

 

Does this ruling include Isbaal (letting clothes fall down the heals) for the boys?

 

Of course, it includes Isbaal.

 

What about the things which involve imitation of the disbelievers, such as hats and trousers?

 

This is a different topic. It is prohibited for Muslims to imitate the disbelievers in clothing or anything else, whether they are males or females, young or adults. The Prophet, , said: "Whoever imitates a people belongs to them." Also, Muslims must have a strong personality to prevent them from following others because they are superior and their religion is also superior, as Allah The Almighty Says (what means):

• {So do not weaken and do not grieve, and you will be superior if you are [true] believers.} [Quran 3:139]
• {It is He Who has sent His Messenger with guidance and the religion of truth to manifest it over all religion.} [Quran 9:33]

 

Is it permissible for children, boys and girls, to wear short clothes that reveal their thighs?

 

It is known that there is no ruling for the ‘Awrah (parts of the body that must be concealed) of children under the age of seven, but getting children accustomed to wearing these short clothes will undoubtedly make uncovering their ‘Awrah an easy thing for them to do in the future. Perhaps a man may not feel shy when his thigh is uncovered because he used to uncover it when he was young and did not care about doing so. In this case, people will look at their ‘Awrah just like they look at their faces, feeling no inhibition or shyness. I suggest to prevent children from wearing these clothes and allow them to wear decent clothes which do not involve any violation of the rules of Sharee‘ah (Islamic legislation).

 

What is the ruling on piercing the ears of a baby girl in order to put earrings in her ears? Does this involve any sort of mutilation or torture as some jurists say?

 

The preponderant opinion is that it is permissible to do that because this is one of the means leading to wearing jewelry which is lawful. It was authentically narrated that the female Companions wore earrings. There is little pain involved in this practice. If the ears are pierced at an early age, it heals quickly.

 

Does this apply to piercing the nose?

 

Yes, when it is seen as a place of adornment.

 

What is the ruling on shaving the hair of a baby girl after birth or later in order to make it thick and long? Is it an act of the Sunnah (tradition) to shave it after birth like baby boys?

 

It is not act of the Sunnah to shave the hair of the baby girl on the seventh day after birth like boys. As for shaving it for the benefit you mentioned, if true, scholars say that it is disliked to shave the hair of the female. However, if this is proved to cause the hair to be thick and long, it would be permissible to shave it. It is known that acts become no longer disliked when needed.

 

What age should a male child be when a woman must cover in front of him? Is this the age of discerning or the age of puberty?

 

 In the context of listing the people in front of whom a woman is allowed to uncover her adornment, Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {Or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women.} [Quran 24:31] When the child becomes aware of the woman's ‘Awrah (parts of the body that must be concealed), looks at it and talks about it frequently, it will not be permissible for the woman to uncover herself in front of him. This varies from one boy to another according to their experience. A boy may be interested in women if he sits with people who often talk about them. Otherwise, he will be unaware and unconcerned about women. Importantly, Allah The Almighty outlined this matter by His Saying (what means): {Or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women.} [Quran 24:31] It means that a woman is allowed to uncover her adornment for this category of children as long as they are not aware of the ‘Awrah or concerned about the affairs of women.

 

Does touching the penis of a child while cleaning his private parts invalidate ablution?

 

No. It does not invalidate ablution.

 

Is it permissible for parents to punish a child by beating him or putting painful hot items, such as pepper, in his mouth when he makes a mistake?

 

Disciplining a child by beating is permissible when he/ she reaches an age at which he/ she understands discipline, which is often the age of ten. It is not permissible, however, to give him hot items because this may negatively affect his health; causing great harm, unlike beating, which is done on the outside of his body, and there is no harm in it if it helps in disciplining him and is not severe.

 

What about children under ten years of age?

 

Beating a child under the age of ten should be reconsidered, because the Prophet, , permitted beating a ten-year-old child for abandoning prayer, so we should look at the child under ten whether or not he has understanding, intelligence, and a mature body which could endure beating, scolding, and disciplining.

 

Would parents incur sins if they teach their children the Quran, if the children are too young to understand that the Quran must not be recited in the bathroom and then they actually recite it in the bathroom despite their parents warning them?

 

A mother and father should help their child recite the Quran and warn him against reciting it in the places where it should not be recited. If the child does any of these inappropriate actions, they would not be responsible or held accountable. The father or mother should talk to the child if either of them hears him reading the Quran in an inappropriate place and tell him that this is not permissible. It was authentically narrated that ‘Amr ibn Salamah Al-Jarmi, may Allah be pleased with him, led the prayer at the age of six or seven during the time of the Prophet, . [Al-Bukhari]

 

With reference to the Hadeeth that orders Muslims not to let their children play outside starting from the time of sunset, due to the prevalence of devils at that time, would it be permissible to allow children to play in the house courtyard- which enclosed by walls?

 

The Hadeeth (narration) applies to the street outside the house, and there is no harm if they play inside the house.

 

Is a woman required to prevent her child from passing in front of her while she is praying? This happens frequently and preventing the child takes her out of the state of Khushoo' (humbleness in prayer). She also fears that the child may be harmed if she leaves him alone when she is performing prayer. 

 

Scholars held that a mother may let her child pass in front of her if he/she passes frequently and she fears that preventing the child may invalidate her prayer. However, she should give him something to play with and be around her, because if the child is given something, he will keep himself busy playing with it. If the child is attached to his mother because he is hungry or thirsty, it is preferable that she delays the prayer until she satisfies his needs, then goes to perform prayer.