Abuse of Wives: Reality or Imagination?

23/05/2013| IslamWeb

It is rare that societies are free of evil social phenomena, and this was the case even in the pure ages of the prophets, may Allah exalt their mention. One such evil phenomenon is marital dispute and domestic problems. For example, husbands may abuse their wives or vice versa, parents may abuse their children or vice versa, children may abuse each other and so forth. While following up this issue in the press lately, I came to notice that there is stress on the issue of abuse of wives, either from male or female writers, or caricaturists, to the extent that readers have begun to think that there is no Muslim house that enjoys a tranquil and stable life. Thus, I wanted to express my own point of view in this regard:

1. One of the established rules that every Muslim, who loves his society and Islamic Ummah (nation), should understand is the idea of social security and harmony. Among the prerequisites of these are unity and harmony. In order to achieve this, people should avoid disputes and conflicts so that life would be based on affection and mercy. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And He placed between you affection and mercy.} [Quran 30:21] Moreover, life should be based on integration, advice, allegiance and cooperation in righteous deeds. Allah the Almighty Says (what means): {The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give Zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those - Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.} [Quran 9:71]
2. It is true that some Muslim husbands abuse their wives and quarrel with them. However, the question is whether it is something that represents a phenomenon that deserves all this attention. I think that the answer of the sensible and just person would be a definite no, based on the statistical evidence.
3. Using the western society as a model for our conservative Muslim society is something that should be rejected by sensible and righteous Muslims. This is because the western society is mostly based on immorality and dissension. Here are some statistics that show how women suffer over there. For instance, in Britain, during the last fifteen years, London police receive one hundred thousand calls every year from wives who are hit by their husbands. Also, 79% of Americans hit their wives, and 83% of these wives entered the hospital at least once to obtain treatment due to domestic violence. Additionally, one hundred thousand German wives are hit by their husbands every year, and two million French wives are physically abused by their husbands. All this happens in the so-called developed societies, so what about the ignorant and weak western societies? After knowing this, does it make sense to compare our Muslim societies with these deviated ones?
4. The repetition of these things through caricatures, writings, and reportages indicate that this phenomenon is generalized to all classes of the society. Generalizing in rulings without having proper knowledge is something that our religion forbids. Thus, how about generalizing in something that threatens the security of Muslim homes and Muslim societies as a whole?
5. Marital problems are a norm set by Allah The Exalted since He created man, and these problems are a test for the spouses. Many Quranic verses were revealed in this regard and there are whole chapters that examine this issue, such as Soorat At-Talaaq. Are all Muslim groups and individuals unable to accommodate a few of these natural disagreements which have solutions in our comprehensive Sharee‘ah that corresponds to our innate nature so that it would declare its defeat publicly?
6. Those who investigate the issue of wife abuse and marital disputes and problems, whether male or female writers or caricaturists, are one of two categories:

• Some may do this out of good intention and in order to warn men against doing this. Those will be rewarded, Allah willing.
• Others may use these disputes as a means for achieving another goal, which is calling women to be rebellious and to deny lawful authority. This campaign that is carried out by so-called women’s liberationists contradicts the Sharee‘ah.

          7. I say to every Muslim who believes in Allah The Almighty as his Lord, Islam as his religion, and Muhammad, , as his prophet, not to worry about the rights of women in the western sense as the Islamic Sharee‘ah has guaranteed all her rights. One only has to know the Sharee‘ah and grasp it so that he would find the comprehensive answer. Here is a simple example that shows that Islam gave man responsibility for women. The Prophet, , said: “I forbid the transgression of the rights of the two weak types: women and orphans.” Had there been an opportunity, I would have mentioned many other verses and Hadeeths, but I know that everyone in our Islamic societies is already aware of them.